Thanksgiving is about family and food, in very large amounts. No matter how nice your family is or delicious the food, too much of anything can be a bad thing. To help round out the Thanksgiving fun, add everyone’s favourite fun-maker into the mix: alcohol. Pair up your meal with a Pumpkin Pie Martini, or liquor up to cope with your annoying relatives. Either way, alcohol will make the food more tasty, the family bearable, and add another thing onto the list to give thanks for. So get your drank on this Thanksgiving with these choice Thanksgiving drinking games.
The Sports/Football Drinking Game
If sports are more your family’s thing during Thanksgiving then here is a solid list to follow to get through the game, or make it more exciting.
-Any close-ups of celebrity “fans” that are in attendance at the game
-If announcers plug any of the following TV shows: Any CSI, The Simpsons, Family Guy, 60 Minutes, Any Reality Show
-Any time there is a gratuitously long close-up shot of the cheerleaders. (Actually do not drink for this, just ogle.)
-Any shot of a female fan holding a sign with a heart symbol and a player’s name
-If an announcer makes a reference to a player not playing in the game
-When anyone in the room asks ‘the rules’
-If anyone in your group snickers at/makes a stupid comment about the BJ on the back of the back judge’s uniform
-An announcer uses the word differential, or any word too large for a football game
-If a celebrity joins the announcers in the booth
-If there’s any mention of dog-fighting/steroid suspensions
-Any play made by a guy with long dreadlocks
-Any time an announcer uses the term ‘hard’ or ‘tough’
-If a coach signals time-out right before a field goal attempt, drink. Then a second later, drink the exact same amount again.
-Any time there is a penalty, point gained, or someone asks for the channel to be changed.
The ‘THAT Family Member’ Drinking Game
At every family gathering, there is one relative you are seriousley not looking forward to seeing. Maybe its your loud uncle who can’t help but talk politics, an aunt who always seems to give backhanded compliments, or a dim-witted cousin, all are suitable for this game. Simply grab a drinking partner and take a drink every time the relative in question does something he/she is famously annoying for. It helps to decide on some specific actions beforehand, but feel free to be flexible as spontaneous bouts of cringe-worthy comments/actions happen.
The Standard Thanksgiving Game
This is a pretty simple one and will probably apply to almost everyone’s Thanksgiving lunch or dinner. Simply take a drink every time something on the list below is said or occurs.
-If carving the turkey is made into a sacred male affair
-Every time you have to explain social media to a relative
-If someone audibly snores on the couch
-For every vegetarian or vegan present
-A woman who is older than you tells you to get out of the kitchen
-Someone mentions the turkey’s dryness
-Someone blames the turkey’s dryness on someone else
-Someone asks about your significant other, two drinks if they know you’re single
-Someone asks you ‘how is school’
-For every type of pie present at dessert
-You look around and think ‘So this is my family’
The Food Network Drinking Game
If your family is anything like mine, then the Food Network is probably on a loop Thanksgiving Day. No one knows why, but maybe having food continuously on the TV makes it a better atmosphere for gorging oneself. Feel free to use this one on any holiday occasion, when all Food Network shows are doing holiday-specific specials.
Simply take a drink when:
-Any time Alton Brown shows a Chemical Formula
-Giada says ‘crisp’ or ‘light and delicious’.
-Alton says ‘brings flavor to the party’ or ‘wash those ____ hands!’.
-Emeril says ‘BAM!’, ‘kick it up a notch’ or ‘Yah, babe’.
-Paula talks about buttah.
-Rachael Ray says ‘EVOO’, ‘yummo’, or any other overly cute/disgusting abbreviation
-Somone gets ‘Chopped’
-Guy Fieri looks like he’s going to have a heart attack
-Nigella Lawson gives a coy look to the camera
-The English dub on Iron Chef is noticeably bad
Well there you have it folks, a few drinking games to help you survive Thanksgiving. If we forgot your favourite, shout it out in the comments below. Just always remember: