Life is all too full of awkward moments, like waving at someone you think you know but actually don't, or saying goodbye then realizing they’re going the same way as you, or even the dreaded handshake fist-bump. Yes, these humbling experiences catch each and everyone one of us off-guard and make us all look like fools, but while some of these awkward moments are universal, others are unique to this city which only a Montrealer could ever truly understand.
Having a conversation in two separate languages with a server/store clerk because you’re both trying to accommodate each other.
The standard "Bonjour/Hi" is pretty customary whenever you're out and about in Montreal, but once in a while you find yourself in a conversation with someone trying desperately to accommodate you, but instead leaving you both awkwardly talking in two separate languages with neither side giving in.
When you see someone wearing a Scott Gomez habs jersey.
Why. Just why.
When your friends discover that you've never eaten a poutine before.
You're at a diner with some friends for a late-night munch sesh, everyone is discussing what they're going to eat etc. when someone asks you if you want to split a poutine. But you've never had a poutine. "What do you mean you've never had a poutine?" "How is that even possible?" "What kind of Montrealer are you!?"
When you realize your coworker supports sovereignty and you don't.
You could be workplace besties, coordinate dozens of projects together, head up numerous presentations ensemble, but one day it just slips out and now you just don't know where you stand.
Asking for a vegan option at Au Pied de Cochon.
If the name of the restaurant didn't give it away, the look on the waiter's face after you've asked for a vegan option definitely will.
Getting busted for staring at the Tams.
This really can't be helped. The Tams is just overflowing with half-naked hotties just begging to be ogled. Male or female, it doesn't matter, getting busted for staring at the beautiful Montrealers that gather at the Tams every weekend is always a delicate situation.
Going for the 2-kiss hello with out-of-towners.
Ever tried this one? The person makes it seem like you've accosted them and you feel like a pervert for what is a perfectly normal way of greeting someone.
The look of disdain when someone asks if you go to McGill, and you answer Concordia.
Montreal is lucky to have two world-class universities such as we do, but whenever it's assumed that you go to McGill but in actual fact go to the other one, it sometimes makes things a little uncomfortable.
Jaywalking in front of a cop.
Jaywalking is a way of life in this city, and literally everyone does it. Hell, even the cops do it, but that doesn't mean it's not in their power to give you a ticket. That awkward moment when you have crossed on the red and realize you did it right in front of a cop makes you wonder "should I stop and go back, do I just continue walking"...you just don't know.
Asking where the nearest depanneur is when you go out of town.
You may think that the dep is what everyone calls a corner store, but it's not. Ask someone who's never been to Montreal where the nearest dep is, and they will think you are speaking another language, which you technically are. But, still. Awkward.