I already spoke about cross-sex friendships.Now, I'd like to look into a similar subject - whether or not you should stay friends with your ex. Break ups are always painful, no matter how deep or how long your relationship was. Staying friends after a breakup might seem like a good idea at first... after all, you've been through some things as a couple for a certain amount of time. Is this good enough of a reason to stay friends after the breakup though? I think not. Let's see why you shouldn't stay friends with your ex once you've said your goodbyes.
1. You'll end up sleeping together
If you seriously think that the two of you can hang out, get drunk and not hook up, think again. It's very hard to keep a strictly platonic relationship with someone who you've been and, possibly, still are physically attracted to. Everyone knows that booty calling your ex is forbidden territory. Don't do it.
2. It will block you from being open to new relationships
If you stay friends with your ex, you'll most probably be less open to meeting new people. You'll compare all of your new flings to your ex. There's one thing you need to realize, though - it didn't work out for the two of you, so you definitely shouldn't compare new guys to your ex boyfriend. You should turn that page of your life and start a new chapter.
3. Respect your new partner
If you happen to meet someone new, be respectful and cut your ex out of your life. You talking to your ex will make your new partner extremely uncomfortable. Why make things weird?
4. On and off relationships aren't healthy
Staying friends with your ex will lead to an on-again off-again relationship. You'll get back together, then break up again... multiple times. These kinds of relationships are not healthy! If someone wants to truly be with you, splitting up would never be an option. On-again off-again relationships prove that one or both partners are not sure whether they want to be together or not. The truth is, they should split up for good.
5. One will always have hopes of getting back together
When a couple breaks up, it's often not a mutual decision. Most of the time, one person dumps another person. Consequently, the person who has been dumped wants to get back together because they still have feelings for the other. Staying friends with your ex because you feel bad for them will make them suffer even more in the long run.
6. Staying friends won't make the break up easier
Sometimes the decision to stay friends makes us believe that our breakup will go smoother. Like, we won't have to deal with the pain of not seeing or hearing the person who we've gotten used to, because we can "be friends". The reality is, it's a temporary fix that will do more damage than good in the long run.
7. Someone's feelings will inevitably get hurt
As cool as you think you might be about your break up, it still hurts to see your partner move on and have a good life. It sucks to see them in love with someone else when the two of you were also in love at some point in the past.
8. Hanging out as friends will be painful
Let's say you're out grabbing lunch and your ex does something cute and you feel like hugging and kissing them, but you can't, because friends don't do that. You can't just turn off your feelings and be completely comfortable in the company of your ex.
9. It's just unnecessary
Why would you want to be friends with your ex anyway? You have other friends, hang out with them instead. There is absolutely no reason to stay friends with your ex unless you have business or kids together. It's totally acceptable to cut them out of your life otherwise.
10. You really want to stay friends? Stay friends on Facebook instead!
Yeah! Stay Facebook buddies. This kind of friendship can totally work. A good idea would be to also unfollow their posts and updates, so that they don't sneak into your feed.