10 Stages Every Montreal Drunk Girl Goes Through
As an expert in everything booze and party related, I though of writing this genius post this morning. Especially since it's Friday today and I'm bugging all my friends to see what they're up to tonight.
By the way, if you think party girls are bad, think again. They actually make the best wives ever. Here is what every Montreal drunk girl has been through at least once in her lifetime. Let's laugh at how alike we all are.
1. "I'm not drinking tonight."
You get to your girlfriend's place in Griffintown or something and tell her right away that tonight is going to be different. Tonight is the night when alcohol is not your friend.
2. "Ok, just one drink."
Your friend still pours you a glass of wine and you think to yourself, "Fine, whatever, one glass of wine will not do anything." You sip away and slowly start to wonder when the SAQ is closing today... Oh, it's Friday? It's open until 9p.m.! Yaaaas, we should get more wine!
3. "Let's go to Apt 200!"
It's almost midnight and you're feeling way too pumped to just chill at home, so you suggest to go to St. Laurent's Apt 200. Genius idea! Genius.
4. "OMG, let's do shots!"
You get to Apt 200 and ordering shots seems to be the most logical thing to do at this point. Like, what else are you supposed to do? Dance? No, thanks, that's for later.
5. "I fucking love this song!"
Your favorite song comes on and you're really feeling it. You don't know the lyrics, but you're REALLY feeling the beat.
6. "I love Drake!"
They finally put Drake and you're screaming, "You used to call me on my cellphone!" into a random guy's in a Hab's jersey ear. He doesn't seem to mind though.
7. "I miss my EX..."
Oh fuck... you're thinking of your ex and all the fun times you had together. Remember that time you had the cutest date on Mount Royal together? Yes, now is the perfect time to think about it, girl!
8. "I'm going to text my ex."
Something like, "I miss you so much :(((((((( Come to Apt 200!" sounds about right.
9. "I'm so horny."
Your girlfriends are trying to stop you from ordering an Uberto go to your ex's place. WTF is their problem?!?!
10. "I love you!"
At this point, you realize how much love your girlfriends, they're like your fucking family. You tell them you love them at least ten times. In a row. "Let's get $2 chow mein please! I'm hungry! I love you girls..."