Raise your hand if you go to Vanier College. Is your hand not raised? Well, bad news, friend: you can't sit with us. This post is for cool kids only. Alright, fine, that was a terrible attempt at a Mean Girls reference. But horrible references aside, there are many reasons why you should consider yourself lucky if you do go to Vanier College. But, hey, every place has their own hilarious realities. This is for my fellow Vanier alums and students who know these struggles all too well.
1. Deciding on a program
Full disclosure: having a wide array of programs to choose from is truly an awesome thing. But if you're indecisive, it might not feel that way at first. Since a lot of Vanier's programs are interesting A.F., it can be super difficult to settle into a permanent decision. But don't worry. No matter what you pick, you're in for a great time. Even if it's just so hard to. choose. one. thing.
2. The walk of shame up 5 flights of stairs
S/O to that feeling of dread every single Vanier student gets when they see that their class is on the 5th floor. Friend, if you're out of shape (fuck it, even if you are in shape), I've got some bad news for you. You're going to have to climb all 5 flights of stairs. And you're going to have to do it without panting, so that when you get to class nobody can tell how much that actually took out of you. But don't worry. By the end of the semester, you'll be taking those stairs like a champ... Hopefully.
No lie, Vanier is easy to get to whether you take the bus or drive. But parking? That's an a whole other level. If you can find a spot near the campus on a street that doesn't require a sticker... well, friend, maybe play the lottery today. The universe is working with you. If not, swallow your pride and pay the cost of schlepping your car into the daily parking lot. Protip: don't try your luck and park in the teacher's parking lot. That only leads to heartbreak. Trust me.
4. Deciding where to eat for lunch
Much like picking a program, except a lot worse because you have to make this decision every day. Do you eat on campus and get involved in an intense foosball (billardini) match? Do you find your way to Decarie Hot Dog and devour a poutine? Or maybe you're in the mood for sushi - no, Subway - no, pizza? Who knows, friend. The possibilities are endless. And delicious.
5. Explaining to people that your school is located between 2 cemeteries
You get used to the fact that your school is in the middle of 2 cemeteries, and once you do it's actually a really cool factoid. But try explaining that to your friends at Dawson/Champlain/Abbott/Marianopolis. Actually, don't. They just don't tend to get the appeal.
6. The walk to the N Building
Ah, the walk from D to N. Most of the time, it's super tempting to just wander off and chill in the gazebo instead of going to class. Don't do it, friend. Just keep your eyes on the trail, dodge some squirrels, and hope you can make it to the N Building without running into a friend. Godspeed.
7. The Bookstore
Is there anything better than the illusion of productivity that you get the second you walk into a campus bookstore? No. No there isn't. And Vanier's Bookstore is no different. Sure, it's an awesome place to get clothes, textbooks, and school supplies... but only if you go at the right time. Going at the beginning of the semester is almost a sure-fire way to get caught in a huge mosh pit of annoyed students who just want to get their books and get out. Trust me on this. Maybe wait a week or two.
8. Picking your route based on your first class
This is a very simple strategy to reduce the likeliness that you'll be late for class. Unfortunately, it also requires meticulous planning. Have class in F? You might want to get off at Du Collége metro station. Have class in A? Cote Vertu's probably your best bet. Sadly, a lot of us probably aren't in the right headspace just before class to make these kinds of decisions. Getting off at Du Collége and accidentally ending up at Cégep de Saint-Laurent, it is.
In the winter, Vanier looks like a literal snow globe and it's beautiful. Trekking to class during a snowstorm? Less beautiful. True, Vanier is subject to the same exact winter struggles as all of Montreal. But it stings just a little more knowing that our Dawson counterparts can go basically anywhere and still manage to stay indoors.
10. Universal Break
If you have mixed feelings about UB, raise your hand. It's okay, friend, you don't need to lie. A lot of people have a love/hate relationship with UB. On the one hand, a free hour of guaranteed chilling with your friends is awesome. On the other, a guaranteed extra hour break between classes? Not so great. Unless you're one of those smart people who planned out their schedule to compliment UB - in which case, just go. You clearly win at life.