It has happened to the best of us. You meet this guy on a night out, and you’re blown away by his witty charm and confidence. So you proceed by giving him your phone number to see what he’s all about. You text each other playfully for a day or two, until he finally asks you out on a date. You say yes.
Fast forward to the first date-you put on the perfect outfit: a little black dress with nude pumps. He comes to pick you up/you meet him at the place of rendez vous. The night starts off exactly how you thought it would. You enjoy one or two glasses of wine, and fine dining. You talk for hours, you laugh, and you seriously think he might be the one. You part ways and you sit at home, rethinking the entire date, waiting impatiently for his call back.
You wait one day. Three days. One week. Nothing.
So being the girl that you are, you do one of three things:
1) Text him first – it’s the 21st century and these rules are stupid. If I want to see him again, I’ll make the first move.
2) Disregard him all together – clearly he must have a girlfriend if he's not interested in me.
Or, something we wish we could control, but gets the best of us...
3) You analyze every detail of the night to see where you could’ve possibly went wrong. Driving yourself absolutely crazy.
Most of the times, I am on your side for #2. But sometimes, as hard as it is to admit it- maybe you DID do something that made him simply not want to call you again…Maybe something a little like this:
1. Correct his grammar/vocabulary.
Yes, he doesn’t have a masters in literature so maybe he doesn’t pronounce something the right way, and its politically correct for you to want to correct him. But there’s a time for everything. If he doesn’t know you well enough, he might not respond so well to: it’s pronounced Pinot Gri-giot. Not Grigo.
2. Talk about your ex’s
DO NOT DO THIS. I don’t care if you ran out of topics to discuss during dinner – talk about the weather as cliché as it is. But DO NOT talk about your ex of five years and why it ended. He’ll just think you’re not over it.
3. You insist on picking up the bill
Some women think this is perfectly appropriate. Why wouldn’t you want to offer to pay on the first date? Simple. Because he asked YOU out. He knows that if he’s taking you to dinner fo the first time, the least he can do is get the check. When you insist on paying, he’ll think you’re literally trying to win him over- or that you’re used to paying for guys because you’re such an alpha-female.
4. You sleep with him on the first night
Men love the chase. It’s in their DNA from pre historic days when they used to go hunting for meat. The longer the chase, the more exciting it is for him. Ever heard of the 90-day rule? Apply it. (especially if he’s a fvckboy).
5. Talk about people that you know in common
This one is tricky. It's fine to mention how you know so and so, but be careful how far you go into connecting the dots. It usually leads to "then you probably know my ex boyfriend!" or even worse, when you find out you've hooked up with his best friend...
6. Get drunk and become a different person
This one is classic. You're having such a good time that you don't realize you've had three glasses of wine and about to have a fourth. Suddenly, you get very comfortable and start bringing up your family issues and how you grew up... Or worse, you feel the need to show him your tattoo located right beneath your breast. I suggest pacing yourself with a 1:2 water to wine ratio.
7. Wear too much make up
How could make up be too much? When he realizes you're wearing it. Men love the natural look, because they genuinely believe that's how you look in the morning (such fools).
8. Talk about kids names and marriage plans
He will automatically think you see him as your future husband. Keep it very vague for at least the first three dates. If you start bringing up how you want to have three girls named Kelly, Anna and Chelsea and want to buy a house in TMR, it will send unintentional red flags his way.
9. Pay attention to your phone more than him
Some of us do this without realizing it, and it's really bad. You are on a first date with a guy you like. Texting your girlfriends what he ordered for dinner and your entire conversation, is unnecessary if it'll take time away from the date. I suggest you keep your phone in your purse, and try to spend 2-3 hours having a normal conversation without technology.
10. Talk only about your work
Men love ambitious women, but men don't like women who are more ambitious than them. It will make him feel threatened. So refrain from talking about your business plan and financial statements for the next 3 years to come, it's a conversation for morning meetings not late nights.