Photo cred - Sophie Dahl
When alcohol goes in, the truth comes out. Everybody knows this is an accurate statement. Especially for us, girls. The thing is, we all have different behaviours when we drink. We're not like guys, we go deeper. Oddly enough, we girls manage to have different behaviours while lost in booze-land. It's never the same when we see a group of drunk Montreal girls together. It's always mesmerizing.
For that reason, let's have fun and see the 10 types of drunk Montreal girls.
1. Miss Textie-Textie Being drunk is the best excuse for texting the ex-boyfriend, right? He will probably understand you were drunk and that you didn't mean to say how much you miss and hate him, both at the same time. He will also ignore the fact that you wanted to go to his place, at 3am. (Or not. You may wake up at his place, on the Plateau.)
2. The Hanging-Hugger Being drunk makes you love everyone around you. A person you've just met is one of your best friends, in no time. Crescent street turns into a huge house party. Hugging makes life beautiful. "I love you, you know?". Other people suddenly become your supporters, literally. You're probably not only hugging, but also hanging on them.
3. The Crying Baby You could probably change the concept of being drunk to something completely different. No dancing, no kissing. Just crying in the Mile End. You cry because you're in love, you cry because you miss someone, you cry because of the song. Damn, you cry just because you're crying and didn't want to ruin the night. You better wear good make-up, otherwise you will be the Panda.
4. The Professional Dancer Usually, you can't even walk properly while wearing high heels. When you're drunk, though, there's no stopping you. The streets of Outremont are the perfect catwalk. You dance, you know all the best moves, you could even audition on a dancing show. The dance floor is your stage and people will watch every move. (Indeed, they will. You are probably bumping into everyone.)
5. The Passive-Aggressive Everyone around you is a potential enemy. Even people you like when you're sober. Why do they have to tell you what to do? Specially when they start telling you to stop drinking, because you're too drunk. How dare they? Like everyone on Sainte Catherine street is behaving super well. That's why you keep drinking, just to show who's the boss. (And apologize to each and everyone of them the next morning.)
6. The Talking Machine Words keep coming out of your mouth and you just can't help it. All of a sudden, you know everything about all the subjects in the world. You begin a sentence and it never ends. People wouldn't know if the song is too low or if it's your voice that is too loud. If you pay attention, you will see everyone on Westmount can hear you.
7. The Living Corpse You just stay there. You're damn sure glancing somewhere, but no one would get an answer when asking you what's wrong. You look dead, but your breathing gives away you're still alive. You will be news among McGill students, that's for sure. People might hide sharp objects from you, just in case.
8. The Crazy Maniac You jump, you scream. You're too excited and you're suddenly too quiet. You go from loving to hateful in a matter of 5 minutes. No one would know what to expect next. If they say the wrong thing, it might as well be their last words. You punch someone and right after you can't stop saying how much you love the object of your aggression. Yep. Alcohol is not for you, my friend. (Nor are the relaxing lounges at Old Montreal.)
9. The Bi-Curious You're into guys, there's no question. Except when you're drunk and at the Village. The music, the alcohol, the vibe. It all makes the other girls a lot more interesting. Specially the lighting. After 5 minutes of self-debating, you come to the conclusion that you've always liked other girls. Right? Maybe? "I'm sooooo confused!" Don't worry. Your male friends will take lots of pictures and you will see for yourself if you were enjoying it or not.
10. The Sleeping Beauty Alcohol works as sleeping pills for you. You're capable of staying awake for one hour, tops. There's no hope for you at house parties. While people are looking for a room to make out, you are looking for a bed to pass out. You better call your friends on the West Island to come pick you up.
For more Montreal and personal insights, follow Roberta on Instagram @Robbie__Wayne