Montreal is a city that’s filled with countless diverse personalities, no matter where in the urban jungle you are. This assertion rings true whether you’re at a concert, a grocery store, a park or a movie theatre – you’ll always encounter someone different, someone new.
It seems, though, that as soon as you step foot in a Montreal gym, no matter what part of the island, certain archetypes quickly replace the diversity. It never fails. This batch of gym-goers will continue to surface at every gym in the city.
Here are the 10 types of people you’ll encounter.
1. The Texter
Male or female, there is always someone more fixed on their phone than on their workout. The main reason they’re burning calories is because their thumbs are typing at an abnormal speed. You can often disregard how foolish they look, but when they occupy machines while being caught up in a group chat, then that texter can be a huge nuisance.
2. The Machine Hog
The hog is that one just lounging on the same machine way longer than they’re supposed to. It’s either because they’re doing two or three more sets than necessary or they’re spending more time resting than doing the exercise. Either way, this person is extremely frustrating.
3. The Roamer
You’re likely to see that one person that circulates the gym the entire time. This person is often mingling, but sometimes they’re simply locked into their playlist and roaming around the perimeter of the gym. You can consider that to be exercise but in the strangest, most unorthodox way possible.
4. The Newbie
Every now and then you’ll see someone trying to alter a machine or trying to execute an advanced and intricate exercise, but they just can’t. That person right there is the newbie. They don’t have a clue of what they’re supposed to do or how they’re supposed to do it, but they do their best to figure it all out. It's just fun to watch them try to play it cool and pretend that no one's watching.
5. The Show-Off
Often looking around to see if they have an audience, the show-off tries to do way more than he or she is usually capable of and wants the entire gym to know. This is the person that is likely, to put it in Walt Whitman’s words, to “sound [their] barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.” They’re doing something major and they’ll go out of their way to make that known, especially with their embellished roars.
6. The Selfie King Or Queen
Whether it’s in the locker room or in plain sight of the whole gym, there will always be someone checking themselves out in the mirror and clutching their phone to take the perfect selfie. This is the person that is likely to post the selfie on Instagram or update their Facebook status with the hashtags #gymgrind, #gymrat, #progress, #nopainnogain, and so forth. Those selfies happen to be extremely important; I mean, if social media doesn’t know that you go to the gym, did you really work out?
7. The Runway Model
The person that comes to the gym ready to strut their stuff thinking it’s a fashion show. It isn’t just women; men do it too. But you’re more likely to see that one woman walk in all dolled-up – nails done, hair done, everything did. Working up a sweat has never been vogue, so what gives this person the impression that the gym is a place to look cute?
8. The “Beast Moders”
This is the person genuinely into their workout and in their zone. It’s sometimes hard to differentiate between the “beast mode” enthusiasts and the show-offs, but one in “beast mode” is visibly more focused than a show-off. More often than not, they’re listening to a medley of Kanye, Skrillex and Eminem, and they’re flying through their sets. Word of advice: stay out of their way.
9. The Fit Couple
You’ll always see a couple training together; it’s inevitable. They’re the ones trying to fulfill our generation’s ideals of what a couple should look like, or in simple terms, “couple goals.” They’re also hoping to be proof of the claim, “Couples that train together, stay together.” That isn’t quite how it works, folks, but it’s (sometimes) cute nonetheless.
10. The Creeper
When you’re working out and you feel the eyes of a 70-year-old man ogling you, it's extremely unpleasant. He’s the one lurking around the gym ever so slowly and waiting to make eye contact and smile at a cute, twenty-something-year-old. It’s downright creepy, so avoid at all costs.