10 Montreal Restaurants You Absolutely Should Never Eat At Ever Ever Ever

I don't know about you guys, but I personally am so not into restaurants that have amazing food, awesome vibes, and staff that are dedicated AF to taking your dining experience to the next level.

READ ALSO: 17 Reasons You Should Never Ever Go To Montreal’s Concordia University Ever Ever Ever

It's cool if you are, but me? Not so much. So if you want to find out which places have all that and more, then don't you worry. I've got your back.

If you are obsessed with smoked meat that'll legit blow your mind, never ever go to Smoke Meat Pete

A photo posted by 보쌈이엄마 (@ueuej) on

283 1ère Ave, L'Île-Perrot

Juicy, thick slices of Montreal smoked meat, with the world's most perfect fat to meat ratio, plus amazing live music... Yeah, not feeling it.

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If you like flavourful, juicy, above and beyond awesome Portuguese chicken, never ever go to Braseiro

A photo posted by Chef Nick"Inferno"De Palma (@infernomtl) on

3618 Rue Notre-Dame Ouest

Let's be real, guys. Portuguese chicken that's flavourful, juicy, and crisp is soooo passé.

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If you love tacos with homemade, authentic tortillas, fresh, tender meat, and vibrant toppings, never ever go to T&T Tacos & Tortas

A photo posted by TANISHA?? (@tannerxo) on

51 Rue Rachel O

Oh man. Freshly made tortillas piled high with fresh, tasty, and vibrant toppings is so not anyone's jam.

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If you like authentic souvlaki with juicy, tender chunks of meat, homemade tzatziki, and crisp, fresh toppings, never ever go to Nostos

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9530 Boulevard de l'Acadie

I mean, I don't know about you, but I personally hate it when my souvlaki is delicious, with thick and tender chunks of pork, fresh vegetables, and the most flavourful tzatziki sauce ever.

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If you like ramen with complex, savoury broth, tender noodles, and the freshest toppings you could possibly find, never ever go to Yokato Yokabai

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4185 Drolet

A Plateau restaurant with the chillest vibes and with ramen tastes like actual happy angel tears. Is anyone actually down for that, TBH?

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If you like fresh and expertly made sushi that'll legit change the way you look at food, never ever go to Phuket

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4673 Rue Jarry E

Situated in St. Leonard, this sushi/fusion restaurant serves up a Japanese poutine with lobster and tempura-encrusted sweet potato fries, as well as some really fresh and tasty sushi. Which is cool, I guess, if you're into that.

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If you like fresh, flavourful, authentic, and straight-up mind blowing poke, never ever go to Koa Lua

Best poke I ever tried. Thanks for the recommendation, @minneeeh! ?? . . . @koalua_mtl #montreal #mtl #quebec #qc #canada #narcitymontreal #mtlblog #mtlblogger #mtlmoments #mtligers #mtlshot #montrealjetaime #montrealmoments #yul #514 #somontreal #montreall #igersmtl #livemontreal #narcitymontreal #montrealgallery #mtlphoto #poke #food #mtlfood #foodie #mtlfoodie #foodporn #foodstagram #forkyeah #hawaiianfood

A photo posted by Miranda ✌?️?? (@ciaomiranda12) on

1446 Rue Sainte-Catherine O

An authentic poke experience, right in Montreal, complete with Hawaiian inspired decor and dishes created using only the freshest and tastiest ingredients? Not for me, thanks.

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If you like to eat wholesome versions of your favourite food - like sushi, sandwiches, and more - and weep tears of pure food joy, never ever go to Vivalia

Grand Opening Event at @vivaliaorganicbistro, new concept in the Old Montreal! I here tried their tajine, chili, végépâté sandwich, couscous salad, sushi, energy balls, carrot cake, smoothie and more... all vegan!

A photo posted by Quick & Easy Vegan Food ? (@veganmontreal) on

3618 Rue Notre-Dame Ouest

A bistro in the heart of Old Montreal focusing on totally organic and fresh food (like smoothies, sushi, sandwiches, falafels, and more) that actually tastes amazing? That's a no from me, TBH.

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If you like fresh, juicy, tasty shawarma, and other incredibly fresh and delicious Middle-Eastern dishes, never ever go to Sumac

A photo posted by Zineb B (@bibouzi) on

3618 Rue Notre-Dame Ouest

Fresh and crispy falafels, juicy and flavourful shish taouk, delicious fattoush salad, and pretty much the tastiest Middle Eastern dishes ever? Um, count me out, thanks.

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* If the pictures, links, and descriptions in this article didn't already tip you off, this piece is meant to be sarcastic. All these places are awesome, and you absolutely need to pay them a visit ASAP. ;)

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