It's time to rally around national pride.
In the face of almost constant bullying from the American president, it's worth remembering that there are many factors in which Canada has the upper hand.
Listed below are 13 ways Canada outperforms, or is just generally better than its only neighbour. The list includes both striking statistics and fun cultural and historical facts.
1. Canada never had a civil war
The deadliest war in American history really messed up the county's political landscape. The United States is still dealing with the consequences of its civil war: a huge divide persists between the North and South, systemic racism is widespread, and white supremacy still has a place in mainstream politics. Canada will have none of that.
2. Canadians are less obese
It would be difficult to have a more obese population than the United States. While only 1 in 5 Canadians is obese, 2 in 5 Americans contend with extreme weight.
3. The Canadian Donald Trump had his political ambitions crushed
I'm not talking about Doug Ford. A reality star once ran for the leadership of the Conservative Party with hopes of one day becoming prime minister. Instead, television host Kevin O'Leary withdrew from the race with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.
4. No penny
Canada did away with the worthless coin. It still costs the United States 1.5 cents per penny for its zinc interior and copper coating.
5. Scented and waterproof money
The Canadian treasury denies that the maple leaf on twenty dollar bills is actually a scratch-and-sniff feature. But there's nothing like the true Canadian experience of maple-scented hands after handling cash. You can also take your money swimming. U.S. currency is still monochrome and smells like iron.
6. Canada is cheaper
While Vancouver and Toronto are the most expensive cities in Canada, they are dwarfed by the cost-of-living in comparable American cities. Montreal was also recently ranked the most affordable city in the U.S. and Canada.
7. Canadians love Canada
This seems obvious, but Canadians take this for granted! With so much contempt and division in the United States, it's worth remembering that Canada is the third-happiest country in the world!
8. Legal marijuana
Americans are so uptight. The current U.S. presidential administration is even more uptight. They should take a cue from Canada and sit back, relax, and enjoy a blunt.
9. Canada is safer
That's clear to anyone who has ever spent time in both the U.S. and Canada. Canada has almost no gun violence to speak of while the U.S. continues to deal with almost weekly mass shootings.
10. Canadians live longer
Probably because they're less obese. The American life expentancy is low for developed countries because of a lack of comprehensive health care, poor diets, and high violence. Canadians can expect to live into their 80s, while Americans usually die in their late 70s.
11. Ketchup chips
The strange novelty has yet to grace the shelves of American super markets. They're a bizarre flavour combination but, as an immigrant, they have defined my Canadian experience.
12. Canada is viewed more favourably abroad
We've all heard anecdotes about Americans pretending to be Canadian to stay safe while travelling in foreign lands. Disasterous foreign policy has tarnished the American reputation around the world.
13. Canadians write with a flare
At first I was bothered by the superfluous 'u' in words like 'colour' and 'neighbourhood.' But I have grown to love the charming emphasis they give to my writing.
I love Canada. You can explore the OECD Better Life Index to discover more statistics about Canada.