"Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!"How many times do you lie everyday? Think about it. I'm not talking about heavy lies, I'm talking about casual lies, the little white ones we think or say everyday.
Research and studies have shown that the average person tells an average of 2.92 false things in every conversation. The reasons why we lie vary from person to person.
Some men and women may lie to each other to present a better first impression. Sometimes we actually lie to gain others' respect. Other fibs help stave off the consequences of making a mistake. Still others, a great many people, perhaps, will lie to spare someone's feelings.
Our hearts might be in the right place, and diplomacy may best trump the absolute truth, but technically we're still telling a lie.
"I'm Doing Great!"
How many times have you had a terrible night, argued with your boyfriend (or girlfriend), could barely sleep and had to go to work the next morning, feeling like crap? And how many times you've answered, "I'm doing great!" when people asked you how you were doing? No one ever says the truth when people ask these questions. Sometimes we're actually very happy, but most of the time the answer is nothing but a lie. "I'm ok!", "I'm pissed off because I hate waking up early.", "I'm not happy, I hate this stupid job." "I'm broke, that's the only reason why I come here and see your shitty face everyday!" This sounds more like reality. But who would tell the truth, right? It's safer to stick to "I'm doing great!" and the false happiness smile.
"Sorry, I Don't Have Any Money."
You're Downtown, going home after work. A homeless guy stops you and begs you for coins. What do you say? "I'm sorry, I have none." The thing is your pocket is full of coins. You continue walking as if nothing happened and don't even realize you've just lied. This happens everyday, all the time. No one is saying you should feel obliged to give the homeless a coin, but the fact that you tell him you don't have one, it's a lie. People rather lie than tell the truth. You could say, "No."
"I'm Sorry! I Have To Go."
You're walking in a very slow pace when you see people from the Salvation Army or the SPCA. You instantly start almost running, as if your house was on fire and you needed to save the baby. When they try to stop you (because they do that, even when you're running) you always answer, "I'm sorry! I have to go! Next time!". When you cross the street, you go back to your slow pacing and go home not feeling guilty at all. It would have take less than 5 minutes to listen to what the person had to say. But you choose to lie and ignore them, every time.
"I Need To Study."
When was the last time you went to your grandma's place and actually spent some time with her? When your parents tell you to go pay her a visit, you go -- but you're always in a hurry. You usually say you have to go back home to study for your exams. You tell her you will spend more time with her next time. It's always the same speech. It's always the same lie. When you go back home your parents are happy because you went there and won't lecture you anymore about visiting grandma -- for a while. You to go your room, listen to music, play Xbox One, text your friends, watch something and go to sleep. No studying.
"No, I'm Not On A Diet."
You're on a diet and starving, but at least you've been losing some weight -- so it's worth it. When you meet a friend who you haven't seen in years, she asks you if you're on a diet you usually say, "No, I've been exercising a lot! Maybe my metabolism got faster!" She pretends to believe you and you pretend it's the truth. When she invites you to have lunch (probably to find out the truth about your eating habits) you say you have somewhere to go. Double lie. Isn't it easier to say you're on a diet? It's a good thing to take care of yourself.
"We Can Start A Diet On Monday!"
You and your best friend have known each other for more than 10 years. You grew up together and she's like a sister to you. In the last few years she gained weight -- a lot of weight. Every time you go out for dinner, she eats more than your brothers do. When it's time for dessert, she orders the double chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream on top. You keep quiet, thinking she shouldn't eat that. When she looks at you, desperately seeking your approval, and asks if it's ok to eat dessert, you answer, "Of course! Today is the last day, right? Let's start a diet on Monday!" It goes on and on and the diet never starts. You keep telling her it's ok because you don't wanna hurt her feelings. You're lying. It's better to help your friends, no matter how hard the truth is.
"This Is My Favourite One!"
Your friends will come pick you and your girlfriend up very soon. You guys have a party to go. You're ready since 8pm, but your girlfriend cannot decide what to wear. You sit down to watch her trying different outfits -- it takes at least one hour. Every time she asks you if she's looking good, your answer is, "You look hot! This is my favourite one!" 60% of the time you're lying. You just want her to be ready so you guys won't be late for the party. She can wear a green spotted shirt with patterned skirt and brown boots. You will tell her she's looking hot, even though you think this is the worse outfit you've ever seen in your entire life.
"Of Course I Love It!"
Your crush finally asked you out and tonight is your first date. You're not showing up uninformed, are you? You go to his Facebook page, learn about all the things he likes and dislikes, check his pictures to see if you can find more clues and are fully aware of what his habits are. When you go out with him and he asks you if you like hockey, you answer immediately, "Of course! I'm a Habs fan since I was a little girl!" But you don't know anything about hockey, do you? And you absolutely hate fried food, even though you are eating french fries with him. Aren't you the perfect match? Lying about your likes and dislikes can be very dangerous for your future relationship. The guy is falling for someone who is telling him lies about herself. People who truly loves you will love you for who you really are. Don't try so hard.
"I'm Sorry, I Don't Live Around Here."
You're walking to your friend's place when a person stops you and asks for directions. You know where the place she wants to go is, but you're not that good at giving directions. You look at the person and say, "I'm sorry, I don't live around here. Better ask someone else." She thanks you and keeps walking in the wrong direction. What do you do? Nothing. You keep walking to your friend's place. You could have said the truth, but it was easier to lie. "She will find the place, eventually." That's what you always think, right?
"It Was The Last One."
You're at school, chewing gum. Your friend asks you if you could give him one and you say, "Sorry, man. This was the last one." The truth is you do have one more, but you're saving it for after class, when you will meet your girlfriend. How many times have we said we don't have anymore gum when we actually did? The same goes for the last chocolate bar, the last jelly bear and any other candy we love. We never want to share or give away the last one.
"I Was Just Kidding!"
You're with a group of friends and say something completely out of the context. Everybody looks at you and you have a nano second before they start making fun of you. What do you say? "I was just kidding!" And everybody starts laughing, thinking it was a joke. A lie saved your night and spared yourself from looking like a complet retard.
"I'm The First Assistant Manager."
You were recently hired as a secretary in a big company. You answer the phone calls, you keep their agenda up to date and you serve coffee when they have meetings. It's ok, life is good and you're making money. Then you see an old colleague from school coming in your direction. She stops and asks you how you're doing. You tell her you're doing great (as we discussed before, this is the #1 lie people tell everyday) and ask the same question. When she asks you about your job you tell her, "I'm the first assistant manager." She looks astonished and you're feeling better about yourself. People lie about their job positions all the time.
You're 20, no matter what. People ask how old you are and you always answer, "I'm 20." When they come to their senses and see it's impossible that you're only 20, you try to dodge the question and talk about something else. People lie about their age all the time. Women, mostly. Why? Age is just a number, it doesn't represent who you are. What makes you better are the things you accomplish in life, not your age.
"Sure! You're Absolutely Right!"
Your co-workers and your boss have a horrid taste. You don't understand how people can create such terrible products. You are creating things you wouldn't buy for yourself. When your boss comes to talk to you and asks what's your opinion you say, "It's genius! I love it!" You hate yourself after saying this, but the fear of telling the truth and being fired is greater than any truth. Right? Wrong! Choose your words carefully and tell him your honest opinion. He will value your honesty instead of firing you. We lie to our bosses everyday, it's time to be more courageous and tell the truth.
"I'm Better Without You."
You and your boyfriend were having an argument and broke up. Both were wrong about what you were saying. He goes home, you stay in bed -- crying. You want him to come back, you still love him very, very much. The next day you guys meet at school. He looks at you and you turn your face. Then he comes to you to see how you're doing. You look at him, looking snob, and say you've never been better. He looks sad, but walks away. You lied to him about your feelings and now he's gone. People lie all the time because they are too proud to say the truth about their feelings.
"Sure, Babe. I did it!"
You and your girlfriend just moved in together. You have your chores and she has hers, but you keep forgetting to do yours. When she comes home and you're watching the game, she instantly asks if you had called the landlord about the hot water. "Sure, babe. I did! But he didn't answer the phone!" You don't even know his phone number. We all lie about our daily chores, specially to our girlfriends and boyfriends. We don't want them to see us as a failure, so we lie.
"I'm Very Skilled."
If you analyse your CV, you will see that half of your "accomplishments" are not true. We are always keen to start working and are the best employee ever. We all lie in job interviews, when writing our CVs, when talking about our skills with new co-workers. We always want to be the best and show people we are the best at what we do. Before getting hired, you always say it's ok to stay until late and do some extra work. Once you're hired, there's no way you will work late. It's all part of the big fat lie you told your employer.
"I Weigh 110 lbs!"
Ask any woman how much she weights and you will hear an instant lie. No woman tells the truth about their weight. I don't understand exactly what's the point, but they always lie about it. If you don't agree with this one, I dare you to stand still on the scale, with your weight distributed evenly on both legs, take a picture and post it. The same happens to men when they're working out. The difference is women say a lower number and men say a higher one.
"I Can't Go To Work Today, I'm Sick."
You partied hard all weekend long, had a huge hangover and now it's Monday again. There's no way in hell you will be able to go to work. You call the office and say you're too sick. "I will see the doctor today." Everybody believes you and your lie kept you save. Now you can sleep until 12pm and take the day off. The thing is, the more you lie at work, the less people will believe you.
"Sorry, But I Never Got The Message!"
Remember when somebody called and left a message about something important and you completely forgot about it? The next day, when the same person calls back you say, "Sorry, but I never got the message." This happens everyday. People tell this lie over and over again. So if you leave a message and the person doesn't call you back, know that she got it but forgot about calling you back.
For more Montreal and personal insights, follow Roberta on Instagram@Robbie__Wayne