Alright, guys, has this ever happened to you: you're chilling at a Montreal restaurant, after consuming some seriously delicious eats, and then... a feeling of pure dread washes over you?
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Not because of your meal, of course. That was epic. So epic, in fact, that you've eaten way too much. Like, you've stuffed yourself so full of yummy, yummy carbs and grease (or maybe kale and arugula?) that you actually cannot function anymore.
It's the very definition of something hurting so good, I guess. The post-delicious meal pain is totally, totally worth it, but still, you kind of wish you understood the basic concept of quitting while you're ahead. Or at least quitting before you feel more overstuffed than the burrito you've just basically vacuumed up.
Although this kind of situation is totally avoidable, it happens to the best of us. (And not just me, I'm really, really hoping). Maybe you're celebrating something awesome; maybe you're going best on cheat day; maybe you're just seriously hungry.
Whatever the situation is, the endgame is the same. It always ends in some form of self-loathing. But no worries, guys. You won't find any judgement here; enjoying delicious food, and then kind-of-but-not-really regretting it, is all part of living ya best life.
So ask yourself, friend: just how much self-hatred are you willing to go through for some seriously delicious meals?
For 10% Self-Hatred, click "Next"
10% Self-Hatred:
LOV
This Old Montreal restaurant specializes in locally grown, wholesome vegan food. Their dishes are legit amazing, and since they're cruelty free, you can stuff your face as much as you want with delicious food and only 10% regret it later.
Omnivore
This super healthy Plateau restaurant is legit bae, guys. They've got delicious sandwiches, wraps, salads, and beef and chicken dishes to choose from, so you can stuff your face with zero regret.
Vivalia
An Old Montreal " healthy fast food" spot, Vivalia is king of making delicious bowls, sandwiches, smoothies, and other yummy and good-for-you dishes.
Le Sain Bol
Looking for a spot with healthy brunch? Well, stop looking. Le Sain Bol has got you covered. Deliciously good for you food is key at this Plateau spot, so don't feel too bad about eating. All. The. Things.
Venice
Poke, flatbread pizza, smoothies, and tacos rule the roost at this healthy, California-themed restaurant. Once you peruse the menu, trust, you'll want to eat every single thing on it - but no worries if you do, it's just that good.
For 25% Self-Hatred, click "Next"
25% Self-Hatred:
Koa Lua
Poke is actually my life, so I feel like it's worth noting that at Koa Lua, you'll be getting some of the most legit poke in the whole city. Pair it with their spam n cheese musubi and Alohavocado, and prepare for quite a few treats!
ChuChai
A strictly vegan Thai restaurant, this spot serves up delicious and totally cruelty-free meals. So, go ahead, eat as much as you possibly can, and then don't even feel a little bad about it.
Pho Tay Ho
Spring rolls, pho soup, pad thai, oh my! This St. Denis spot specializes in above and beyond delicious pho soups, with a menu so full of delicious dishes that you'll order tons, eat it all, and regret nothing.
Qing Hua
Honestly, if you want authentic Chinese dumplings, look no further than this beyond delicious restaurant. Prepare to fall in love with the dumplings here, stuff your face into oblivion, and then very happily do it all over again.
Super Taco
The only thing better than fresh and delicious tacos, friends? Fresh and delicious $1 tacos. Yes, a taco or two is yummy, light, and even sort of good for you... but about 30 tacos? Prepare to love your food, but kind of hate yourself.
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50% Self-Hatred:
Piatto Pieno
Literally, this Little Italy restaurant takes whatever you order, and multiplies the quanitity by about 3. Delicious Italian dishes are king here, like their eggplant parmigiana, fresh pastas, and wood-oven pizzas; the portions are huge, but the taste is so legit that you'll finish everything off.
Phuket
This Thai/fusion restaurant is pretty much one of the most delicious spots you could possibly nosh at. Bonus points for their poutine, which features lobster, cheese, and fried sweet potatoes. Try not to eat, like, 3 of them (but don't feel too bad when you do).
Macbar Et Fromage
Macaroni and cheese seems like a simple enough dish, right? Oh, friend. No. Not at this Ontario Street restaurant, which jazzes up their mac and cheese enough to make you want more, and more, and more, and more.
Marven's
Okay, the calamari at Marven's might just be my soulmate... but then again, all the food here is. Prepare to be so impressed by this Parc-Extension Greek restaurant that you legit eat allll the dishes.
Sahib
This West Island Indian eatery has delicious dishes, plus a weekend buffet. Their food is fresh and delicious, and so good that seconds (or thirds, or fourths, or fifths) will definitely be consumed.
For 100% Self-Hatred (but 0% regrets), click "Next"
100% Self-Hatred, but 0% regrets:
Dirty Dogs
I don't know a better combination than macaorni and cheese slathered on a poutine, and then sprinkled with bacon. Dirty Dogs pretty much hits the nail on the head with this dish, so much so that you'll legit never. Want. To. Stop. Eating.
Takumi
Alright. The sushi at Takumi will blow you away with how fresh and tasty it is. Be prepared to order about 3 more plates than you're comfortable with, eat all the sushi anyway, hate yourself instantly, and then do the same thing all over again next week.
Dinette Triple Crown
Indulge in fried chicken, mac and cheese, biscuits, mashed potatoes, desserts, and more at this Rosemont restaurant.
Le Gras Dur
Home of the all you can eat poutine, chicken wings, and brunch specials, you're sure to gorge yourself on the delicious delights at this Villeray spot.
Notre Boeuf De Grace
Burgers stuffed with cheese, piled high with decadent toppings, and sandwiched between fresh buns? Add a side of delicious fries, and you might just fall in love.
