Living the student life in Montreal is beyond sweet. With low rents, an amazing nightlife scene, and an array of universities, Montreal is practically tailored to students. And with so many populating the city, some fairly clear stereotypes about them have formed. That's just how society works.
Depending on if you're a student at UQAM, Concordia, UdeM, or McGill, the stereotypes may differ. In other cases, a stereotype runs through every academic institution in the city. But regardless, these stereotypes are largely not true of every student, but more often than not, they're 100% accurate.
So in honour of Montreal's multitude of students and their respective stereotypes, we've gotten a little academic ourselves. Below we've created some statistics (in the most unscientific way possible) on the most prevalent stereotypes associated with every major university.
JMSB Students Wear Suits 80% Of The Time, And Think They're Better Than The Rest Of Concordia 100% Of The Time
If you wear a suit, you are superior, after all.
There Is A 100% Chance You Will Find Bros At The CEPSUM
Because the gym is the bro's natural breeding ground.
99% Of All ÉTS Students Are Male, Mildly Awkward, White, MMO-Players With A Long-Term Girlfriend
The attendees of LAN ÉTS are pretty much proof of this.
75% Of Every UQAM Student's Outfit Is From A Thrift Store. The Other 25% Of Attire Are From Clothing Swaps
Traditional clothing stores just reinforce the patriarchy, and we can't have that.
There Is Only A 30% Chance A Concordia Student Will Ever Go To A Bar That Isn't Downtown
But Mckibbin's and Cock n' Bull are just so close...
0.01% Of All Froshies Are Actually Wanted Anywhere That Isn't Campus
Doesn't matter what university you go to, everybody else in Montreal hates Frosh.
80% Of A Concordia Student's Diet Consists Of Asian-Fusion Dishes
When your campus is smack dab in the middle of Chinatown Part 2, it's kind of hard not to eat a lot of Asian cuisine.
60% Of UdeM Students Think Of UQAM Students As Unemployed Hippies
But it's okay, because UQAM just thinks UdeM people are overly stuffy snobs.
10% Of Every Hour On UdeM Campus Is Filled with Complaints from French Students About How France Is Better Than Quebec/Canada
The sad part is, in a lot of ways, they're not even wrong.
The Average McGill University Undergraduate Student Spends 25% Of Their Academic Career At Gerts
With such amazing drink deals, it's not hard to understand why.
100% Of All UQAM Students Will Join A Protest As Soon One Marches By
Even if they're just standing in the street and have no idea what it's for. The need to protest is simply too strong.
0% Of Safe Spaces On McGill Campus Are Actually Safe
Mostly because politically over-correct students will make you feel unwanted and uncomfortable if you use a gendered pronoun.
1% Of All Montreal University Students Will Stay In On A Friday
Only if they're in engineering or med school. Otherwise, it's the freakin' weekend.
87% Of Place Milton's Revenue Comes Directly From Hungover McGill Students On The Weekend
Or on Monday, or Tuesday. Everyday, really.
80% Of All $15 Pitchers Ordered At Tabasco Bar Come From UdeM Students
You need to unwind from all that studying somehow.
5% Of The Greeters At Berri-UQAM Metro Are UQAM Graduates
Otherwise known as the homeless people outside the station...
80% Of All McGill University Students Are Rich Kids From Ontario
Or, you know, 'Merica.
If There Is A Guitar At A Party, 75% Of UQAM Students Will Begin Strumming Away
Doesn't matter if they can't really play, either. And that figure jumps up to 100% if they're at Tams.
Only 10% Of UdeM Students Will Interact With A Student From Another Montreal University On An Average Day
It can get a little isolated up there on the mountain.
100% Of Both McGill & UdeM Students Think Their School Is The Best In The Country
The funny thing is, no one really cares either way. McGill is basically anglo UdeM anyway.