Are we too narcissistic? Nah. No shame in being awesome and knowing it.
1. You have an innate geographical intuition measuring "pothole depth, frequency, and quality" against "affluence of street" (i.e. distance from Westmount)
2. Not getting lost very often.
Montreal's roads may not be too great, but at least the city centre is easy navigate because it's on a grid system, and a lot of the buses lead to a metro system. Take that, other cities! Wait, other cities don’t have a grid system, right? That’s a Montreal thing? Yeah.
3. You’ve survived harsh winters that would make the Stark family cringe.
4. While the Sami language has about 180 words for "snow", you have twice as many as that.
...mostly because you can use the word for "dead, brown slush" as a root for all of the others
5. You know how to appreciate old things (well, sort of)
6. From your childhood, you still remember terrifying French TV shows like Téléfrançais, and its pineapple thing.
The most terrifying thing is how many sober people probably approved this before it aired.
7. You have the ability to go through an entire educational system without knowing what its name stands for.
It could stand for "Chillingly Endless Gathering of Educational Problems" and you wouldn't know.
8.You have come up with the perfect 30-second rundown to explain what a CEGEP to Americans.
"It's a type of - fuck it - I went to school, okay?"
9. You’ve either become a master of layering clothes, or you’ve developed a total immunity to feel the cold.
I mean, you live in the same city as them. Throughout, like, half of the year. That means they're in YOUR BLOOD. GO HABS GO.
11. "If the Habs win, Montreal riots. If they lose, Montreal goes home for a quiet night in”
You are able to successfully rationalised this, and you've lost the ability to register how little sense it actually makes.
12. Even if you’re not a hockey fan, you’ve picked up enough info from people around you that you can successfully fake your way through any hockey conversation.
13. You know two names for every major street, metro station, and landmark.
One in French and one in English.
14. In fact, you know that speaking two languages is barely noteworthy
Saying you're bilingual is like saying you know how to ride a bike without training wheels.
15. But Anglophones have the ability to skillfully memorise and completely master barely-relevant phrases in French
...while avoiding actually learning the language.
16. You have distilled planning your summer festival attendance into an art
A fine art – frantically searching for scalpers, refining optimal STM routes to a tee, triangulating beer locations while ignoring bathroom locations
17. You can immediately tell the difference between a Montreal-style bagel, a New York-style bagel, and those weird bread rings they sell in supermarkets
18. You have the ability to be equally outraged at pretty much any political change in this city
Despite knowing that it’ll likely entail nothing different. Same thing goes for any change in the Habs lineup. And the rotation of motorway repairs. And people using French or English when they should have been using English or French.
19. You understand why Mont-Royal is a real mountain.
Doesn’t matter what people from other cities say about Mount Royal being “just a small hill”. It’s a mountain, goddammit. OUR mountain.
20. You don't live in Toronto.
If you’re also a weirdo about Montreal culture and humour, find Sijia on Twitter (@chuffystilton) or on her tumblr.
Forwards Paul Byron, Mike Hoffman, Joel Teasdale, defenseman Josh Brook, and goaltender Carey Price all failed their medicals and are probably out until the start of the regular season.
Defenceman Joel Edmundson is listed with a day-to-day injury and might rejoin the team in the coming days.
Meanwhile, Habs forward Brendan Gallagher was absent for "family reasons" and will return to camp soon.
There's a palpable sense of excitement going into the new season. With a re-tooled team, a bunch of new players, and a new plan of action from head coach Dominique Ducharme, the Habs are looking fresh and capable.
Whether or not they'll make the Stanely Cup Finals again this season is highly debatable, but you best believe the boys will give it their best shot.
You might have noticed that the height of buildings in Montreal is shorter than those in other North American cities. That's by design. And now, Mayor Valérie Plante's party, Projet Montréal, is committing to keep it that way.
"Since 1992, a consensus has existed in Montreal regarding the maximum height of buildings," the party wrote on Facebook. "According to this agreement, Montreal's constructions must not obscure the views of Mount Royal — and therefore must not peak higher than the mountain's highest level, which is more than 232 metres above sea level."
The party criticized former mayor Denis Coderre's claim that taller buildings could help to increase the housing offer in the city.
"Mr. Coderre seems to believe that Montreal's highest peaks should belong to the owners of downtown penthouses [...] Let's be honest. Who will really benefit from taller skyscrapers? A handful of wealthy people and a few real estate developers... And so would begin the privatization of the views of our Mount Royal," Projet Montréal warned.
If while watching the 2020-2021 NHL season you couldn't help but wonder where Jonathan Drouin from the Montreal Canadiens was, fans finally got answers.
During an interview with TSN, it was pointed out that Drouin was on the ice during a warm-up on April 23, the last fans saw of him this season.
The Habs player said anxiety and insomnia were key factors in why he didn't play this season.
"I've had anxiety problems for many years, insomnia problems that relate to my anxiety and that week in Calgary where we played three games — missed all three of them — wasn't feeling good," he said.
"That was where you know it hit a wall for me and it was time to step away from the game and literally take a step back from everything and kind of enjoy life — I needed it. It was hard for me to do at that time and obviously, playoffs were coming around. It wasn't an easy thing to do and I'm proud of what I've done and I'm happy I did it," Drouin continued.
"I'm 26 years old so I wanted to do it at that point in my career and feel good for the next years."
"We are very excited to have been chosen by the League to host the draft, which will take place in Montreal for the first time since 2009," France Margaret Bélanger, president, Sports and Entertainment of Groupe CH, said in a press release.
It’s official, the 2022 NHL Draft will take place in Montreal on July 7 and 8!