Photo cred - Robbie McIntosh
Women are beautiful creatures. We are determined, intelligent, influent and loving. Everybody knows that, it's no news.
It's also true that women are also extremely irritable. Sometimes we don't even know what is it that is making us so angry. The causes may vary from country to country, city to city. It all depends on the culture you're living in.
Montreal girls have some peculiarities when it comes to getting mad at something or someone. We are adorable, and we are also the best kind of troublemakers there is.
Having semi-naked women in advertisements may be acceptable in other cities and countries, but not here. Not by Montreal girls. It absolutely pisses us off when we see a huge advertisement on Sainte Catherine street, in which the model is almost naked. The use of the female body to get attention to a product is outrageous.
Montreal girls love to go to YMCA and workout. We like fitness and being healthy. What we don't like is when we're working out and there's a weird guy watching every move. We keep asking ourselves what's wrong with him (or with us) and start feeling uncomfortable. Of course it's nice to see that guys are looking at us, it makes us feel good. But it's not nice when someone keeps staring. It's too annoying.
Spitting In Public
How annoying is it when we're walking and someone in front of us spits on the street? It's not only annoying, it's also gross. Montreal girls are completely disgusted by this kind of behaviour. You see this happening a lot on Downtown, where it's more busy. We get really mad, specially when we step in it.
We don't condemn who likes to smoke. We know we have our own addictions, too. We all like to enjoy the beautiful terrasses we have in Montreal, and usually smokers and non-smokers get along well. But smokers who blow that noisome smoke in our direction should know how terribly annoying they are. Our hairs no longer have a nice shampoo smell. Instead, it smells like a huge cigarette. It's hard to make our parents believe we were not the ones smoking.
Lame Pickup Lines
Montreal girls like to be among cool and interesting people. We like to feel comfortable and relax with our friends at nice places, like the Drinkerie. Nothing is more annoying than a guy who comes talk to us using lame pickup lines. It's too embarrassing. If you're interested, there's a guideline of what not to do.
Do you know when you're having a beer with your friends at Les 3 Brasseurs and there's a table right next to you where people are too loud? Yep. That makes Montreal girls very upset. When it comes to the point where you cannot hear your friends anymore, that's when it's time to leave. Not before giving them a raging glance.
We know there are a lot of constructions in Montreal. The traffic is annoying but it's ok if we can get home safe and sound. These road and city constructions aren't that bad. But when the construction is in our building, we feel like killing everyone. When a hammering sound wakes us up, you can count on a bad mood, at least. Remember the good relationship you had with your neighbours? Forget about it.
No Toilet Paper
You and your friends are at Cineplex Scotia Bank to watch a movie. You drank too much diet Coke and need to go to the toilet before the movie starts. You do your business and when it's time to clean-up, there's no toilet paper. How annoying is that? The movie better be good, because your mood won't be one of the best for now.
You're going out on a date and he takes you to a cool restaurant on St. Paul street. At first you enjoy the place and find it very charming, like everything in Old Montreal is. Then comes the menu. Burgers, pizza and deep fried dishes. You look at the menu, look at him and look at the menu again. He's in wonderland and you're in hell.
Loud Gum Chewers
You're in class at McGill trying to pay attention to what the teacher is saying, but the guy behind you is chewing gum. Chewing loudly. He's making noises with his mouth that you didn't even know a human being was capable of doing. You look at him, trying to show your impatience, but it doesn't work. The gum is far more entertaining than your furious face.
Montreal girls are not fans of winter time, but at least we know it lasts for 3 months, not the entire year. When we travel somewhere else and say we're from Montreal, Canada, and people react as if they were sorry for us because of the cold weather, we just wanna punch them right in the face. How can they think it's freezing cold all year long? It gets even worse when they think we only speak french in Montreal. No further comments.
People like to compare everything and everyone. Try to compare a Montreal girl to any other girl to see what happens. Specially when people compare us to americans. Girls are not products, we shouldn't be compared. Being compared to other girls makes us feel uncomfortable and, sometimes, insecure.
Montreal girls appreciate their freedom. We like to feel comfortable with our choices and seek love where we know we will find it. Maybe it's with a guy, maybe it's with another girl. Who knows? When we choose to be with another girl and some people are astonished at our choice, it makes us very, very angry. Our life is none of anyone's business. If we wanna walk hand in hand in the Village, then we will.
If there's something that pisses Montreal girls off is sexist articles. Building a stereotype is something completely outrageous. It doesn't matter if it's about men or women, if it's a sexist post then it's absolutely annoying. We don't understand it as a joke. The person who wrote about it must be a complete idiot, right? We don't think (not only for a second) that maybe it's just his or her job. We just get mad -- very mad.
Driving In The Jungle
You would be surprised to know how many animals are driving in Montreal these days. It's an unpleasant mix of bad drivers, crazy cyclists and inattentive pedestrians. Montreal girls enjoy driving, but not in the city. SAAQ must have been having a hard time. It's infuriating how people still dare to say that only women are bad drivers.
Winter in Montreal can be freezing cold. Extremely low temperatures leaves no room for shorts, sandals, tank tops etc. Instead, we may wear snow boots, winter jackets and layers -- a lot of layers. You will see a lot of angry little madams wandering around Montreal during the winter. It's just too annoying.
You are at a house party on Mile End and your friend introduces you to her British friend. You start having a conversation and he starts assuming you eat poutine every day, that you're a huge hockey fan and drink beer every weekend. You're standing there, in front of him, wishing you could kill him very slowly. What is it with people?
Some people in Montreal love putting labels on other people. We hate that. We hate the fact that guys think they can grab us only because we're wearing short dresses, because they instantly think we're easy. Or when people think we're gay just because we're not wearing what other girls wear. The examples goes on and on. People tend to label you according to what you wear, your likes, dislikes and where you usually go. Montreal girls despise that. You go to the Plateau and wear a hat, you're a hipster. You don't find the Village that interesting, you're homophobic. And once again, the examples goes on and on.
Haters Hating Haters
We hate this, we hate that. Hate, hate, hate. The question before was "what do you like?", and now is more like "what is it that you don't hate?". Hate is trending and now it's cool to be a hater. It pisses Montreal girls off. We share something and people say how much they hated it, instead of understanding it's just our point of view (or a joke). Our Facebook feed is now a war between our hater friends. Some of them like stuff that some other ones hate. Do people respect each other's opinions? No. Montreal girls don't support this kind of thing. Don't we?
For more Montreal and personal insights, follow Roberta on Instagram@Robbie__Wayne