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30 Definite Signs You're A Montreal Stoner

Living the stoner life.
30 Definite Signs You're A Montreal Stoner

Everyone is unique and different, but that isn't to say there aren't certain traits that unite us. When it comes to the stoner community of Montreal, that last sentiment is doubly true; there are just things stoners do and know that no one else in the city does.

Now, I'm not talking about the regular rigmarole of stereotypical stoner traits like perma-red eyes, a lazy attitude, or poor short term memory. All that junk is a disservice to stoners everywhere, even though it's sometimes true. What I'm getting at is the many signs you're a stoner who lives in Montreal, and nowhere else.

Of course, none of these may be true of you, and you could be the most intense stoner on the island. Still, that isn't to say that these 30 definite signs of a Montreal stoner won't apply to most (if not all) cannabis-enthusiasts in Montreal. See for yourself below.

You don't even go to Tam Tams.

That's for weekend stoners. You just head to Jean-Mance Parc, because it's way more chill.

You know exactly how much a Creation Combo is at Boustan.

Tax included.

You've tried (and failed) to make a cannabis-infused poutine.

The gravy just never works out.

Oh, and marijuana guacamole, mac 'n cheese, macchiato, and French toast bread stick.

But what you really just want is some cannabis chocolate.

You have very strong opinions on which is the best head/bong shop in Montreal.

Hightimes doesn't always have what you're looking for.

You regularly buy cigarettes, but not to smoke them.

Having batch on had is key.

You know exactly which restaurants deliver, and until when.

For when the couch-lock is strong.

You rarely (if ever) drink when you go to the park.

Why get drunk when you can get high? Or you know, do both.

You love Justin Trudeau, even though you know nothing about politics.

His stance on marijuana is enough.

You have three different dealers saved into your phone.

Because you never know which borough you might need to pick up in.

You have your own secret spot to smoke near Scotia Bank Theatre.

Because certain movies simply require some prior medication.

You know to always get take out at La Banquise.

That line is not moving fast enough for your hanger-level munchies.

You seriously can't wait until the SAQ starts selling weed.

And you totally called it way before anyone else. Oh, wait, that was me.

You won't stop trying to get an appointment at Montreal's marijuana clinic.

Soon child, soon.

You've tried eating a mango before smoking to get higher.

And every other weird trick the internet has ever spewed out.

80% of what you post on Facebook is "the benefits of marijuana" articles.

And your friends hate you for it.

Your dep knows you as the girl/guy who always walks in with half-shut eyes and buys those little baggies of candy.

Seriously, no one else gets those.

You actually know the different between an Indica and Sativa strain.

Not to mention which bud-names are real and which ones your dealer just made up.

You save every single single ride metro ticket you can get your hands on.

They make the best filter paper, obvi.

Winter is secretly your favourite season.Mainly because all the cold, snow, and ice justifies you staying in and smoking weed.

You know better than to ever buy bud from those sketch-as-hell guys by Mont-Royal

I mean, that ones just common sense.

You won't stop explaining to your friend exactly how legalized weed should be handled in Quebec.

It's not your fault you're right.

You actually attended a Montreal Marijuana Dinner.

And keep praying for another.

Your one goal in life is to eat a piece of Montreal-made marijuana fried chicken.


You have an entire scrapbook devoted to your "Marijuana Marriage."

Ok, that's a little involved, more like you've thought about it that one time you were high.

You have your very own list of iconic Montreal food and marijuana combos.

Doesn't everyone?

You actually listened to our playlist of Montreal tracks to listen to when smoking weed.

Devotion comes in many forms.

You've already got your marijuana-coffee Keurig pods pre-ordered.

Redefining wake and bake.

You smile to yourself a little every time you catch a whiff of weed in the Montreal streets.

Kindred spirits/stoners be everywhere up in here.

You smoke a lot of weed. Period.

Pretty much the only qualifier that really matters.

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