My first boyfriend dumped me on Valentine's Day. Like, literally on Valentine's Day. Was it shitty? Yes. Did it suck? clearly. But please, don't queue the pity party. This experience taught me an invaluable lesson. Contrary to when people experience a "blind-sighted" breakup, I definitely saw this one coming.
Sadly, breakups before major holidays and events are common. That's because birthdays, Christmas, New Year's, anniversaries, and Valentine's Day are all markers of time passing. These holidays force us to stop to re-evaluate our choices.
These holidays are also inextricably tied to media-fueled expectations like gifts, cards, dinners, thoughtful gestures, etc...if you're not THAT into someone anymore, just thinking about the time and effort needed to meet those expectations feels overwhelming, which may eventually lead to an actual breakup.
Considering my first-hand experience with the V-day breakup, I'd like to pass down some knowledge that will help even the the biggest romantics out there see the glaring red flags a little more clearly.
1. All of a sudden you're not a priority
If your S/O is consitently spending all their free time with other people, constantly flaking on you, and not even bothering to invite you along, then time to wave a big red flag. Of course, people should have their own lives and friends, but if someone is consistently prioritizing other people and activities over you — without giving you a rational explanation — then you might have an impending breakup on your hands.
2. Communication drastically changes
You've noticed a suspicious change in texting and communication intensity, once enthusiastic paragraph-long responses are now dry one-worded responses like "kk" "lols" "omg" "haha" and that's it? Shifts in communication are usually the first sign of trouble brewing. This alone means little, but paired with any other the other signs, be warned you might be left alone with a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day.
3. Social media activity comes to a halt
Does this person normally share at least a meme with you a day? Are they always liking and commenting on your pics? Sending you snaps of their day? Well if that comes to a screeching stop then something is most definitely up. That attention is going to someone else. You might not find yourself having dinner for two on V-day.
4. Playful and flirty banter becomes snarky sarcasm
Sometimes people don't know how to express their true feelings, so they make jokes out of it instead. If the playful banter and teasing you once had transforms into hostile jokes that hit where it actually hurts, be fully aware, this person is definitely trying to tell you something.
5. Talk of Valentine's Day plans are avoided like the plague
Someone who is eager to spend Valentine's Day with you will handle the convo with smooth confidence. Even if Valentine's Day isn't their thing, they'll let you know, with little awkwardness as possible. However, if the slightest mention of Valentine's Day elicits a knee-jerk reaction that triggers a palpable awkward tension that permeates the air, then be warned, you've got yourself a problem.
6. There's a persistent and unmistakable akwardness in the air
Speaking of awkward tension, in the weeks and days leading up to Valentine's Day you may sense an unmistakable tension and visceral feeling of something being "off" in the air. For example, the person in question has a hard time making eye contact with you, then it's time to stay on high-alert, my friend. A breakup might be looming in the near future.