Was there ever a time when things were different from the way they are now? Did Montreal even exist before the STM implemented OPUS cards, P.K. Subban became everyone's favourite defenseman, and you wake up everyday feeling preemptively exhausted by work or school or both? I have no idea - probably not.
MISS: Waking up, looking outside, and trying to make a deal with the weather gods where you promise to floss every night from now on if only today was declared a snow day. Then when your wish comes true, you pull on your snowpants over your pyjamas and run outside to build tunnels and forts all day
DON'T MISS: The smell of wet jackets and boots after you forget to dry them
Those retro public transport transfers that anyone can print out
MISS: Pressing a button on clunky metro machines to physically print out a bus transfer, and then going nuts and printing out ten of them because you can.
DON'T MISS: Playing with your bus transfer while you're waiting for the bus, and then losing it.
Those old STM buses
MISS: Those days when fares were not $2.50+ for a ticket, and also Giggling to yourself when you see a bus, because the bused have STCUM printed on the sides.
DON'T MISS: Being terrified while taking public transit to anywhere new, because it's not as if you have a cellphone you can use to look up directions later. In fact, physically printing out Google Map directions at all. Good riddance.
Telephone numbers that don't require area codes.
MISS: Not dialing 514 or 438 before calling your best friend, whose number you know by heart. You're doing this on your house's landline, of course, because only rich kids have cellphones. And you're definitely not texting them, because these were the days when you had to press the 9 button four times to type "Z".
DON'T MISS: Only having one phone in the house, which you have to get off if someone wants to also place a call
(or god forbid, dial-up).
Being excited about the penguins in the Biodome
Fête des neiges in Parc Dean-Drapeau? (although who are we kidding, the penguins are still pretty amazing).
DON'T MISS: Being jealous of the adults, who can stay as long as they want and get into the events with alcohol marked "Age:18+"
Learning a new language easily
MISS: Being able to pick up French or English super fast as a kid, just because you started going to a French or English school.
DON'T MISS: Whatever weird children's brain mechanism that makes you immediately forget a new language as soon as you switch schools.
Having mandatory breaks in your day when you go out for recess
MISS: Waiting for the bell, running outside, and either playing soccer in the snow or working on the same snow fort for the entire winter
DON'T MISS: Being forced to go outside even if it's -20°C. Also, if your parents had been anything like mine, being forced to wear goofy hand-me-down snowsuits to avoid frostbite.
If you’re also a weirdo about Montreal culture and humour, find Sijia on Twitter (@chuffystilton) or on her tumblr.
The government is in the process of filling a Service Canada job bank and it's advertising salaries of between $61,152 and $65,887.
On an online recruitment page, the Employment and Social Development Canada (ESDC) office says it needs to fill 45 benefits officer and program officer positions in Quebec and encourages qualified individuals to apply.
The only education requirement is a high school diploma.
While benefits officers review and process employment insurance applications, the government describes a wide range of duties for program officers, including coordination with local stakeholders regarding services from the ESDC.
Service Canada says it has EI processing centres and "program branches" in Montreal, Laval, Boucherville, Drummondville, Thetford Mines, Shawinigan, Quebec City and Saguenay, but that it may assign alternative workplaces to applicants who don't live in these areas.
In addition to a high school diploma, Service Canada is looking for applicants who have experience totalling six months "in delivering services or programs to the general public" or "interpreting and applying legislation or policies."
The language requirement is either French-only or French and English, depending on the position, according to the recruitment page.
Complete details about the positions available and the application process are online.
Montreal pro tip: don't do your hair until after you're off the metro. Montrealers know the struggle of using all their body weight to force open their metro station's doors only to get smacked in the face by a blinding gust of wind that smells like the city's stale, dusty bowels.
So why does entering an STM metro station feel like an amusement park ride? The transit company took to Instagram to share the answer in an eye-opening explainer video on its ventilation system and methods.
The wind, the STM says, is due to what's called "the piston effect."
"In the public areas of metro stations, there's no ventilation system in the buildings, themselves," STM engineer Annie Mcken explains in the video.
"Instead, the circulation of the trains ensures more-than-adequate ventilation and sufficient air change in the stations."
When trains move through stations, Mcken continues, they displace air, which then pushes its way outside or in — this is the piston effect.
This, plus what the STM says are more than 150 ventilation shafts and 90 mechanical ventilation stations, are enough for the network, Mcken concludes.
The piston effect in the Montreal metro is, of course, well-documented and has been widely reported.
It also explains why the STM has those unique "butterfly" doors.
In an online document, the company says the famous doors on a fixed central axis facilitate airflow in and out of stations, reducing resistance and making it easier for riders to enter or exit.
The STM's Instagram video on ventilation also explains how metro trains, buses and adapted transport vehicles are designed to refresh the air.
This article’s cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.
SPVM spokesperson Jean-Pierre Brabant explained that "a man presented himself without saying anything to the employee from the STM started to hit the window with what looked like a hammer. From there — when he was finished — he left by foot," leaving behind approximately $5,000 in damages.
The STM employee told the Montreal police that they had no altercations with the man and were not harmed during the incident.
Brabant said the SPVM is still trying to figure out why this event occurred and told MTL Blog that investigators have yet to identify the suspect but are using the footage from surveillance cameras in the metro to try and do so.
If you want a visual of what the damage looked like, Étienne Fortin-Gauthier shared a video on Twitter of the metro after the hammer attack.
Videos posted to Instagram and TikTok show someone recruiting Montreal metro riders to engage in Squid Game-like activities — minus the bloodshed.
The hit Netflix show follows a group of contestants competing for prize money in deadly versions of children's games. The main character, Gi-hun, joins the competition after a recruiter wearing a suit approaches him in the metro.
The Instagram and TikTok videos show a similarly-dressed individual engaging with STM riders and playing some of the games featured in the show.
Contacted by MTL Blog, the person behind the social media accounts declined to identify themselves but said they're developing more content for their channels.
They also said they've given prizes to some players in the form of $50 and $100 Amazon gift cards — much more modest than the ₩45,600,000,000 (about CA$48,021,177.60, according to Google) grand prize in the Netflix show.
"I'm doing these videos because I'm having a lot of fun creating unique experiences for people," the account owner told MTL Blog. "Seeing the enlightment on the face of the participants, the people around and the reactions from the videos make it all worthwhile!"