8 Ways To Party Better In Montreal By A Drunk Comedian

People almost never come to me for advice. But that doesn’t stop me from giving it. I am a gentleman, and that’s why I decided to create a gentleman’s guide to partying more efficiently and successfully here on our mountainous, frozen island.

Put the stripper pole away and get in touch with your body’s inner flow. For these are the skills you’ll need to work on if you want to be more successful the next time you’re sipping your favourite 8.1% 40oz in your neighbourhood park.

If you have a hawt (sic) body, flaunt it, but please, for the love of the tabernacle, do so with some class.

Follow this list and the next time you’re passed out in one of our city’s beautifully picturesque alleyways, you’ll feel a little more sophisticated and a little less… uh… unfashionable.*

*Thanks Thesaurus.com!