9 Easy Ways To Spot A Non-Montrealer During The Winter

Apparently you're not taught how to dress for winter wherever you're from...
9 Easy Ways To Spot A Non-Montrealer During The Winter

Photo Cred - Kerolayane Oliveira

So if you haven’t already noticed, it’s really REALLY cold. Not being a native to Montreal, I find the winter to be an immense struggle. I have adopted some of the Montrealer's ways, which is a necessity when living in the tundra. However, I can’t help but notice that me and my other foreign pals will stick out like sore thumbs in the snow whenever we do these things.

1. Impractical Clothing

A Montreal winter will make you incapable of dressing yourself. Whether it be wearing 11 sweaters, or thinking it’s still appropriate to wear pantyhose when it’s -35 degrees. For the 4 – 5 months of winter, you won’t look cute.

2. Slow Walking

Seriously, ice can be a terrifying thing. Especially when the city leaves it for weeks to pile up into an enormous mass. To combat our fear of slipping and dying, we move very VERY slowly. Kinda like a baby deer learning to walk. But worse.

3. Falling

Despite all the efforts we take not to fall, we do. A lot. Be prepared for people to laugh and/or think that you’ve seriously injured yourself.

Photo Cred - Zoe

4. Complaining About The Cold More Than Anyone Else

If we’re cold you will know. Non-Montrealers will make it very clear that we are displeased and will expect immediate action to be taken. You can't blame us, it's not our fault that we’re not used to this kind of hellish weather.

5. Avoiding Going Outside At All Costs

Good luck asking any of us to do a favour that involves going outdoors. If we're inside then you are going to have to be pretty convincing to take us away from our heat controlled apartments. Like “The house is on fire’ or “There is a hungry snow leopard in your bed’ are pretty much your only options.

6. Making Fun Of Balaclavas

Fools. They're all fools. Balaclavas are face-warming masterpieces. Anyone who makes fun of them obviously does not know the feeling of having your nostrils freeze over.

7. Drinking Cold Coffee

If you weren’t already aware, there is a time limit for how long coffee will stay warm in the outdoors. Anything over ten minutes is a big no-no. That friend who is always whining about how their coffee is cold is clearly being stupid and lingering outside. You shouldn't feel bad.

8. Texting Outside

Removing your mittens and rifling through your bag to get your phone is a mistake. Frostbite makes texting pretty difficult anyways. The message that, let's face it, is probably from your mom, can wait until you get home. We promise.

Photo Cred - Haydsol

9. Giving A Shit About Groundhog Day

I’m sorry but no stupid rodent is going to determine when winter is over. The beloved furry weatherman is always wrong and not even cute to look at. Besides, Montreal doesn’t experience spring until April. Don’t let it get your hopes up only to have them shattered.

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