11 Things You Need To Know About Dating A Montrealer
This is a no friend zone.
Photo cred - Andre Rivest
As the, Montreal is needless to say, a great place to date. With lots of beautiful people to choose from, bars that are open late, intimate venues of all kinds, and an all-round healthy appreciation for romance, this city has all the ingredients to make the dating scene dynamic and varied enough to suit everyone's tastes. But dating a Montrealer can be complicated if you don't understand the playing field.
While it would be wrong to say that all Montrealers are the same (as much as we like to try), there are certain common themes when it comes to our dating preferences. So if you're new to dating in Montreal, or just don't have a clue, these following tips may be the difference between getting some tonight, and spending another night at home knitting little booties for your cat.
We like to drink. A lot.
So the cat's out of the bag. Montrealers like to drink, and drink often, and pretty much any activity including (and especially) dating, tends to revolve around alcohol. Blame it on the cold, or the easy availability at any corner store, or the 3am cut off time in bars, if you are dating a Montrealer, you better check your liver at the door.
Your jokes better be translatable.
Everyone knows the best way to attract a human partner is to make them laugh, but if you ever hope to compete for a Montrealer's heart, hopefully you know how to translate your best pickup lines into another language (mainly French). Even if the particular Montrealer you're crushing on actually speaks your language, there's a good chance their family doesn't, making that joke you tell them over dinner more uncomfortably awkward than a laugh out loud moment.
Photo cred - Mikael Colville-Andersen
A BIXI ride home is totally legitimate.
As one of the, you can bet your Montrealer date probably rides a bike, or at least rents a BIXI from time to time. So don't be surprised or offended when you're offered a ride home on the back of their motor-less crotch-rocket.
Photo cred - themuzzy333
Skiing/snowboarding will earn you extra points.
Montrealers are kind of spoiled by the fact that the city is surrounded by snow-topped mountains, meaning that many of us grew up on the slopes in some form or another. When we're not drinking booze to stay warm on the weekends, we are out shredding, ideally with a date.
Being too straightedge/prude will get you nowhere.
As the SinCity of the North, Montreal revels in bad behaviour and risky business. The city is not full of strip clubs and sex shops for no reason, and while that's not to say every Montrealer is some kind of sex fiend, they definitely don't shy away from a little friskiness with a kindred spirit.
A good poutine goes a long way.
It should go without saying, in Montreal, it's always a good time for a poutine. We mentioned bilingual jokes are the way to a Montrealers heart, well poutine is the way to our stomachs. A couple that eats poutine together, stays together.
Be prepared to pay for your own meal.
While traditionally the man is supposed to buy the woman dinner, the same rules just don't apply in this day and age, and Montreal is a good example. Montrealers are an empowered bunch, which means that buying your own meal on a date is not uncommon. It's nothing personal, and you might say chivalry is dead, it's just that these bills piling up aren't going to pay for themselves, so you might have to.
We don't find a ride in horse-drawn carriage all that romantic.
Yes, a casual afternoon/evening touring the old-world charm and architecture of Old Montreal sat cuddled up in the back of a horse-drawn carriage does paint a perfect picture of romance, but the truth is, Montrealers are kinda over it. In fact, many Montrealers consider the practice inhumane and strongly advocate for abolishing them all together. Just a little heads up before you go and ask one such Montrealer.
We love anything that's "free".
From free concerts, to free food, to yes, even free hugs, Montrealers absolutely love not paying for stuff. But don't take this to mean we're all cheap bastards, just that this city has accustomed us to freeness with the plethora of complementary things it's constantly offering up.
Get used to big beards, tattoos, and piercings.
The hipster vibe and body modification obsession is strong in Montreal and therefore if you are going to date a Montrealer, you should probably find coiffed hair, big beards, tattoos and piercings highly attractive or your selection of suitors will be severely limited.
Learn to love hockey if you don't already.
And you thought hockey wasn't going to make a list about Montrealers, didn't you? As if. Montreal is the hockey mecca of the world, and we the faithful disciples. Dating a Montrealer means that there will be some hockey love on some level, if only as a great means to bond with your date's father and brothers.