The weather is getting nicer and people are feeling the romance in the air. But some people maya little overwhelmed by the whole thing, and start to question their relationship. Arguably, one of the worst parts about breaking up is the breakup itself: trying to figure out the logistics of what and when and how is decidedly not a fun thing to do. And a breakup so close to the most romantic day of the year is not an easy thing to do.
Luckily, I've got you covered. Below, I've sorted a list of the best places to break up with someone in Montreal. You might find these a little unorthodox, perhaps even cynical, but if you think about it long enough I'm sure you'll find that I'm right.
TL;DR Read on for a list of good breakup spots, along with an explanation for why.
Hear me out. Sure, this is a public space, so if your partner is a big cryer this might not be the best idea. However, at least they can drown their sorrows in infinite carbs, creamy Alfredo sauce, and all the garlic bread they can possibly fit in their stomach. Need a recommendation for the right place? Brotelli Pasta Bar just opened in downtown Montreal, and it offers delicious pasta on the go. This is the best of both worlds: you can grab fresh pasta and cry-eat it in the luxury of your apartment.
There's also this brand new wood-over pizza spot in Pointe-St-Charles!
Outside the SQDC
After the breakup, you or your disgruntled partner can purchase some soothing and munchie-inducing weed to ease your sorrows away.
On the Corner of Saint-Laurent and Prince-Arthur
Because there's a Juliette et Chocolat right there, and I don't think I need to elaborate on the healing virtues of chocolate. Maybe book your soon-to-be-ex partner a reservation in advance?
Plus, this corner is teeming with crying and inebriated people on a Saturday night. You and your ex will fit right in and those that see you probably won't remeber it the next day.
I think that a bar is a pretty good setting for a breakup. You have all the booze you could possibly need to drown your sorrows, and you can get your rebound out of the way quickly. Try Else's for a quiet and casual atmosphere, or Café Campus for a more raucous atmosphere.
If it's one of those rare amicable breakups, check out Mon Osti de Restaurant, which serves sushi, tapas, and creative cocktails. You and your ex and reminisce over good times shared together while stuffing your face with incredible food.
This is really considerate because the gym is a space where your partner can not only work out their sadness and aggression, but also find buff new potential dates.
The Orange Line
Sure, this is kind of public. However, when was the last time you judged, or even looked, at someone who was crying on the metro? It's pretty commonplace, and no one ever looks at you twice. Plus, being in transit means you're probably already close to home. I suggest the orange line specifically because the Azur metros are all open, which means you guys can get the heck away from each other, instead of having to sit in the same cart after the awkward breakup.
Another food-related spot, because there's nothing more comforting than a full stomach. Moreover, the added bonus of breaking up in a public space is that, if you want to cause a scene, you really can. You can find a list of great all-you-can-eat places here.
The Lachine Canal
Stroll along the Lachine Canal after sunset to have a long, private talk with your partner. Walking is a cathartic activity, and the constant change of scenery along the kilometers-long path will make those awkward silences a little less painful.
O.Noir or Dans le noir Restaurants
At these Montreal restaurants, customers sit in complete darkness. The theory is that the lack of vision heightens the sense of taste, but the veil of darkness can also be the perfect setting for a breakup. If you don't want anyone to see you crying, or can't bear the sight of your former loved one's heartbroken expression, this is the place to do the deed. This would be, admittedly, a kind of dick move. So you should at least pay for your ex's meal.
The Underground City
For easy access to the metro. Also because there are so many hiding spots and places that hardly anyone visits, so you can have all the privacy you need. Plus, locals don't really hang out down there, just tourists. So you know that anyone who sees you crying will never see you again. The "underground city" is heated, so your tears won't freeze on your face.
This is great if your partner has a dramatic streak. Breaking up at the top of Mont-Royal will allow them to cry-scream in front of the whole city, and hear their echoes far and wide. Check out more good places to cry in public in Montreal here.
Participating Poutine Week Restaurant
There's never been a better comfort food. Check out the full list of restaurants here.
We've saved the most classic option for last. Breaking up away from the public eye is probably the more considerate thing to do. It allows for more adult, honest conversations. But, whatever you do, make the breakup at YOUR house, NOT your partner's. I don't want someone to break up with me, and then have to wait for them to leave: I want to storm out on my terms. Plus, it avoids your partner an awkward trip to you place to pick up their stuff later. If you're feeling really nice, you can gather all of their things up in advance and hand them the box as they leave.