Poutines in general are far from being healthy, there's no denying that. But what's the point of eating one if you can't feel your arteries becoming more and more clogged with every single bite? You've gotta go big or go home, in my opinion.
With Montreal being the unofficial poutine capital of Canada, there are plenty of different dishes to choose from, including some out-of-this-world-insane creations. So if you're looking to take your next poutine indulgence to the max, here are 10 poutines that are sure to increase your chance of cardiac arrest.
1. Poutineville's Heart Attack
This aptly named poutine isn't so much a meal as it is a challenge. It's a 15 lbs monstrosity made up of french fries, gravy, chicken, bacon, hot dogs, ground beef, ham, tomatoes, mushrooms, mozzarella, onions and green peppers. The most recent record for finishing it was set by a man who demolished that mountain in less than 30 minutes...that makes my heart hurt just thinking about it.
2. Bar Brutus' Jagermeister
For anyone that isn't familiar with Bar Brutus, it's a bacon bar, and their Jaegermeister poutine completely and utterly lives up to that claim. Not only are their french fries loaded with bacon, caramelized onions, cheese curds and jagermeister sauce, but it comes in a freaking BACON BOWL. That's right, the bowl itself is pure delicious bacon - the perfect savoury end to a truly tasty meal.
3. La Banquise's T-Rex
The T-Rex at La Banquise is perfectly named, because this is totally something a T-Rex would eat and probably feel full after. It comes stacked with ground beef, pepperoni, bacon, and hotdog sausage, which is just an excessive amount of meat. I've had the pleasure of watching someone try to tackle this bad boy single handedly and let me tell you, it's a sight to be seen.
Photo Cred - Au Pied De Cochon
4. Au Pied De Cochon's Foie Gras
If you'd like to maintain some semblance of class while gorging yourself on an incredibly delicious, and incredibly bad for you, poutine, then Au Pied De Cochon is where you need to be. Their poutine comes loaded with cheese curds, gravy and tons of foie gras, which, if you didn't know, is fattened duck liver. I hope you have your cardiologist on speed dial.
5. Poutineville's Philly Steak
Anything with melted nacho cheese is automatically a slam dunk, and it just so happens that this poutine is doused in it. It also features philly steak, sautéed onions, mushrooms, green peppers, fresh cheese curds, and home made poutine gravy. Make sure you bring your eating pants if you're going to take on this poutine.
6. Dirty Dog's Meat Tornado
The name alone of this dish is enough to instil equal parts fear and excitement in any poutine lover. Dirty Dog's wonderful creation comes topped with a pile of steak, bacon, onion, and a fried egg. You may want to take this to go and eat it at home, because there's no way you're doing anything else for the rest of the day.
7. Chef On Call's Buffalo Deep Fried Chicken
Every student's favourite late-night delivery spot has whipped up a menu option for the heartiest poutine lovers out there. It comes stacked with deep fried buffalo chicken, cheese curds and the chef's gravy, and it's sinfully delicious. Oh and did we mention you can get it with CURLY FRIES? Yeah, this poutine is pretty awesome.
Photo Cred - Montreal Food Divas
8. Lucky's Famous
The poutine at Lucky's is great because it not only has duck in it once, but twice! A red wine and foie gras sauce is used in place of gravy, which is then poured over the crispy fries, balsamic vinegar caramelized onions, fresh Bovin cheese and tasty duck confit. It gets more and more delicious with every bite.
9. Bar Brutus' Comapoutine
Who says that you can start the excessive cholesterol intake first thing in the morning? Because Bar Brutus's Comapoutine is the perfect way to do that. This poutine is made with a base of hash brown balls that are then topped with bacon sausage, cheddar cheese, south-west sauce, and two poached eggs. I've had this dish more times than I'd like to admit, but I'll never regret any of it.
10. George Le Roi Du Sous-Marine's BBQ Bacon Poutizza
While it's not your traditional poutine, this poutizza deserves some recognition for it's cheesy, carb-filled genius. This dish starts with a base of pizza, which is then completed with french fries, gravy, cheese, bacon, and pepperoni. It's one of those things that you have to try at least once in your life.