16 Things No One Does Unless They're A Montreal Chef
Photo cred - Festival MONTRÉAL EN LUMIÈRE
If you haven't already noticed, Montreal is food central, well at least in North America anyway. Boating the most restaurants per capita in Canada, even New York City itself has a hard time keeping up, and with so many restaurants comes an infinite amount of chefs.
It takes a certain kind of person to work as a chef in Montreal, and they display a variety of character traits and habits that make them very different from the common folk. Things that no one else does unless they're a Montreal chef. But since we all like to eat so very much, Montreal chefs are here to stay.
Work on Christmas, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, Easter, Labour Day, La Saint-Jean Baptiste and every other possible statutory holiday that everyone else is automatically off for.
Most Montrealers enjoy a day off on statutory holidays by going to have fancy meals with friends and families at nice restaurants. Well, who do you think is making all the food?
Will probably deliberately burn your steak if you ask for it well-done.
Asking for a well-done steak is a cardinal sin. Unless they are extremely patient and kind, which is rare, most Montreal chefs will simply throw a steak on the grill and forget about it, if it is meant to be "well-done."
Don't actually know the names of many vegetables and kitchen utensils/equipment in English, even if it's their first language.
Since Western cuisine as we know it is mostly derived from classical French cuisine, a lot of items found in a kitchen go by their French names, especially in Montreal. So much so, Montreal chefs straight-up don't know what aubergine, chinois, and fouet are in English.
Cut themselves, wrap up with brown paper and masking tape, and still finish their work shift.
Look at the hands of a chef and you will think they were in a war. Not too many people, after slicing a finger off, or burning their flesh until it bubbles, would not only not go to the hospital, but would slap some tape on it and get back to work.
Revere the Gazette/La Presse food critic more than any movie star.
It doesn't matter if you are J Law herself, there's one blond-haired Montrealer that will always get served first.
Pretty much put everything in plastic litre containers.
From mise en place, to spoons, to their lunch, Montreal Chefs would be lost without their plastic containers.
Go to Jean-Talon/Atwater market just to browse.
While most people go specifically with the intention to do their groceries and pick up particular things, Montreal chefs hit up Jean-Talon and Atwater markets just for fun, and know at least a few vendors on a first name basis.
Will store every kind of fat they can get their hands on.
Most people nowadays shy away from fat and will drain it out of their meals as much as possible. Montreal chefs on the other hand, know that it is liquid gold. GOLD!
Will make a dick out of anything and everything.
They just can't help themselves. Montreal chefs will go out of their way to design intricate, realistic phalluses the common person could never even dream of.
Insist on only using "les produits du terroir".
Since Quebec is so full of amazing local farms, Montreal chefs have kinda become snobs when it comes to their produce. If it's out of season and didn't come from a nearby farm, you are not a real Montreal chef.
Actually create foodporn instead of just hashtagging it.
All those instgrams you see of amazing looking food comes from somewhere. Montreal chefs are basically porn stars.
Lust over knives at L'Emouleur.
People generally tend to avoid sharp knives, but Montreal chefs get a boner just walking in to Montreal's premier specialty knife boutique. True story.
Know exactly how dim servers can be sometimes.
Everyone knows that a restaurant wouldn't work without the front house, but sometimes...
Largely sustain themselves on coffee and "pain beurre" breaks.
Breakfast IS coffee, and even though Montreal chefs are surrounded by food all day, there is nothing quite as satisfying as a little bread and butter break.
Will often yell "Chaud!" whenever passing behind someone.
It becomes such a habit in the kitchen to yell "Chaud!" (Behind!), that Montreal chefs just yell it whenever the situation calls for it, even when they're not in a kitchen.
Get extra excited about curing their own charcuterie.
Montrealers love to eat charcuterie, but Montreal chefs love making it even more. It's a science and they are very passionate about it.