Montreal is arguably the funniest place on earth. Every July, the city gets flooded with the very best in comedy to make us laugh our asses off at the JFL Festival. And no JFL fest would be complete without the infamous Nasty Show, of course.\nThis year, Mike Ward aka "The Celine Dion of Dick Jokes" returns to host the Nasty Show for a second year in a row. Joining him on stage are the hilarious Bobby Slayton, Brad Williams, Paula Bel, Thomas Dale and Ralphie May.\nIn honor of the these fine, nasty individuals, I decided to bring you my favorite nasty jokes of all time for your cringing pleasure :D\nThe One About The Hotel\nA family checks into a hotel.\nThe father goes to the front desk and says: "I hope the porn is disabled."\nThe guy at the desk answers: "No, it's just regular porn, you sick fuck."\nThe One About The One Liner\nI discovered I have a "Logic Fetish". I can't stop cumming to conclusions.\nThe One About Coffee\nI broke up with my girlfriend, because I like my women like I like my coffee.\nWithout other people's dicks inside.\nThe One About The Bull\nA man got lost in a small town he was visiting when he came across a cowboy standing next to a 10-foot bull.\nThe man asks the cowboy: "What time is it?"\nThe cowboy grabs the bull's testicles, lifts them up and says: "It's 3:30 pm."\nThe man, confused, then asks: "How the fuck can you tell time by grabbing that bull's balls?"\nThe cowboy answers: "It's really simple...\n...I grab the bull's balls, I lift them up a bit ... and you see that clock over there?"\nThe One About The Room\nI walked into a room full of men masturbating.\nThey looked really shocked when I didn't stop.\nThe One About The Twins\nMy roommate started dating twins.\nI asked him how he manages to tell them apart.\nHe said: "Well Stacy is blonde...\nand Brian has a dick"\nThe One About The Cheeseburger\nMan walks into a bar and the sign reads:\nCheeseburger - $1.50 \tChicken Sandwich - $2.00 \tHand Jobs - $10.00\nHe calls over the waitress and asks: "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?"\nShe smiles and answers: "Yes I am!"\nSo the man replies: "Can you please wash you hands, I want a cheeseburger."\nThe One About The Condom\nWhy did the condom fly across the room?\nIt was pissed off.\nThe One About The Guy Named Randy\nMy grandfather, Randy, was a brick layer.\nHe said: "I was a brick layer for 10 years, but no one calls me Randy the brick layer.\nI was a farmer for 20 years but no one called me Randy the farmer.\nBut you have sex with just one goat..."\nThe One About The Riddle\nWhat's long and hard and has cum in it?\nA cucumber.\nThe One About The Circumcision\nHow do you circumcise a hillbilly?\nKick his sister in the jaw.\nThe One About Heaven VS Hell\nA woman dies and goes to heaven.\nWhen she arrives, she hears the most terrifying scream ever.\nThe angel smiles and says: "Don't worry, someone is just having holes drilled into their back to attach angel wings"\nShe hears another scream and asks: "What's happening now?"\nThe angel says: "Now they're having their head drilled to attach a halo."\nThe woman says: "Fuck this, I'm going to hell."\nThe angel screams: "No! you'll be raped and sodomized!"\nSo the woman answers: "Maybe so, but I already have the holes for that."\nThe One About The Discipline\nA mother and father are snooping around in their kid's room looking for drugs.\nThey lift the mattress and find a stack of hardcore BDSM porn.\n"What do we do?" asks the mother.\nThe father answers: "I don't know, but we probably shouldn't spank him."\nThe Nasty Show takes place at Metropolis from July 27-30, 2016 and you can still book tickets right here!