Awesome Products You Didn't Know Existed
Squirrel suits, bacon coffins, and so much more!
Let’s face it, the internet is full of random and unforeseen products from obscure masterminds who haven’t yet gone viral. Here’s a list of the some of the most ridiculously awesome products I’ve stumbled upon that really make you want to dissect the minds of the people responsible for these ingenious products.
1. Thumb Wrestling Ring
Battle in style with this one of a kind thumb “wresting ring” . Not only will it add a more visceral experience to your sporadic thumb battling needs, but the combat setting will heighten that competitive streak of yours. So next time you get the urge to thumb wrestle with your buddy, just throw in the ring and let the battling begin!
2. Bev-Brush Paddle Brush Secret Flask
What did you think, that men get all the fun of being stealthy ninja’s? Women need some of that as well. When mother nature hits, us women can become aggressively hostile and erratic. Sometimes, all we need to ease ours minds and calm our temperaments is a few sips of our favourite alcoholic drink. What better way to fulfill the task, than with this ever so sassy, yet classy, secret “paddle brush flask”. Fool everyone into thinking your tresses are your top priority when in reality you’re reveling in your poison of choice. Not only is it a handy hair brush that can conveniently hold over 6 ounces of alcohol, but it features a mirror on the back as well. Seems like it’s a jack of all trades !
Featured on Amazon here.
3. LED Tetris Tie
As a woman, I’m considering wearing ties because of this stellar tie invention. Exhibit your love for Tetris with this Led tie that features an automatic game of Tetris being played out on your chest. Turns out, this is only a prototype, but Bill Porter (the mastermind behind this tech saavy creation) is planning on “kickstartin’” his way into making this creation reach the public market. Once he raises enough money to produce this in bulk, we all can purchase this glorious tie. Countdown begins.. now!
4. Vibrating Bicycle Seat
For the more daring women out there, who can’t resist the urge to experience orgasms on 2 wheels and within the public eye, here’s your chance. Claimed to give you “mind blowing orgasms,” the vibrating bicycle seat will fulfill your sexual desires within the comfort of your own cycle. How’s that for a novelty experience?
5. Hidden flask tie
Can’t stand the habitual routine of your office job and need a few sips of some of good ol’ jack to get you going through the day? It happens to the best of us, which is why the “hidden flask tie” was created. Not only do you get to maintain that poised and proper demeanor at work, but you get to unleash your inner stealthy ninja . Word of advice : discretion is the name of the game, so don’t over do it on the JD (or any alcoholic vice of your choice), or else your boss will call you out on your sudden chipper mood and spontaneous energetic outbursts . You ain’t fooling nobody there.
6. Electric rock guitar shirt
With the electric rock guitar shirt you get the best of both worlds : An awesome t-shirt and music at your fingertips. Belt out to your favourite AC/DC tunes with this innovative t-shirt that allows you to play 11 different chords on a guitar . It features a mini guitar amp speaker “that outputs all major chords as you strum out the guitar using the included magnetic guitar pick”. Best part of it? You get to jam wherever you go without the hassle of carrying around the actual instrument. For the mere cost of 29 dollars, how can you possibly say no?
7. Bacon funeral coffin
For the hardcore bacon enthusiasts who live, breathe and dream bacon, then this is for you. If you literally love ‘bacon to death,' to the point where you find yourself defending your unhealthy relationship with this decadent piece of meat and know deep down that even at your last breathe of life you need to be surrounded by the very essence of it, find comfort in knowing that your bacon prayers have been answered. At a feasible cost of 3K, you can rest in peace knowing your future corpse will rest comfortably in this authentic bacon themed coffin.
8. Dog Umbrella
I know what you’re all thinking, who in their right mind would want to walk their dogs wearing this? Let’s just put it this way: “this dog umbrella” brings accessorizing dogs to the next level. How many times have you seen, or better yet experienced, the struggles of having to accessorize your dog with some materialistic piece of clothing ? .(For the exceptions who have composed dogs who don’t mind playing dress up, I envy you) They either a) try to bite it off, b) squirm their way out of it or c) shake it off. With that being said, a dog umbrella that’s tied from the top of their heads will hopefully not “wear” them down as much. It may look overtly ridiculous, but it’ll get the job done and shelter your canine friend from the storm!
For the adrenaline junkies who love soaring at high altitudes and feeling the freedom of flying, the squirrel windsuits got you covered. This specially designed suit allows you to “glide at astounding speeds” and experience the majestic effects of being above the rest of us. If you got your funds covered and are ringin’ in the dough, you can buy it for the hefty price of 1.650, or else just add it to your bucket list.
10. Japanese Schoolgirl Exoskeleton
You can count on the Japanese for creating the most cutting edge technology and using Japanese schoolgirls to market their products. Created by Sagawa electronics, this 7 feet tall exoskeleton promises to give you incredible speed and agility in everyday routines, such as stair climbing and running. Not only will you resemble something out of the Wolverine movie, but your grandiose gestures of being able to literally “spring like a ninja” will make you the envy of your friends. For the hefty price of 123K, this state of the art exoskeleton can be yours.
11.Realistic Walter White Mask
Here's a bonus just for fun. This “realistic” mask was actually worn by Bryan Cranston himself at San Diego’s Comic Con and has sold for over 40K on Ebay. Everyone knows that Walter White aka Heisenberg will be a popular choice for Halloween costumes to wear this year, but for one lucky sob, he gets to literally breathe the very essence of the notorious WW.
Know of a crazy product we didn't include? Desperately want a squirrel suit, or any other item on the list? Let us know in the comments below.