Photo cred - Siorac

One word can be heard across nearly every news source around the globe, and in case you've been living under a rock with no wifi access, that term would be Ebola. The world's newest health crisis has everyone spooked, with many believing it will only be a matter of time before Ebola break out in Canada, and then Montreal.

If Montreal does go Ebolin' outta control, we should be prepared. Not like we haven't heard enough about it, so if we do get a handful of Ebola patients in the city, or a whole whack of 'em, the city needs some sites ready to be used as quarantine and treatment facilities.

With no medical research performed and using solely are daft imaginations, here are 11 places Montreal could use to house its Ebola patients and keep the rest of us healthy and safe!

1. Notre Dame Cathedral

Large enough to hold at least the first round of Ebola sufferers, the Notre-Dame Cathedral will also be inherently comforting, it being a church at all. Any atheists in the group can be comforted by the fact that Celine Dion was married here.


2. CN Wellington Control Building

Totally empty and useless since the dawn of the millenium, this one-time railroad control tower could easily be repurposed into an Ebola patient holding/treatment facility, after a bit of renovation work, of course. Urban renweal at its finest


3. Olympic Stadium

When Ebola numbers start to soar, the Big O may be the best bet. The gigantic complex is big enough to hold scores of sick people, and the grassy area will make for a more comforting experience, what with the potential for picnics or food trucks present. The Big O turned into an Ebola treatment facility might also make up for it being the world's most over budget building project.


4. Mile End Startup Buildings

Push out the programmers and bring in the Ebola patients. Sorry Ubisoft, but your 'hood may be the best spot to set up an Ebola lockdown area. Sure, the buildings are far from pristine and comforting, but there are a lot of them in Mile End startup zone, all with many floors and large rooms big enough to set up beds and medical equipment.


5. Silo No. 5

Already abandoned and looking for a new reason to exist, Ebola may be the answer to Silo No. 5's usefulness. Start those grain elevators back up again and you have the perfect method to send supplies into Montreal's new Ebola treatment facility.


6. CN Fruit Warehouse

Another abandoned building in Montreal that can be repurposed should Ebola break out, the CN Fruit Warehouse has been a big ol' abandoned storage facility since 1998. Designed to house large quantities of goods, it'd be easy to switch said goods from fruit to Ebola patients.


7. Montreal Super Hospital (A.k.a. The Bosspital)

Kind of a no-brainer and what we hope would be the first choice is the McGill University Health Centre, affectionately dubbed Montreal's new super hospital. The medical centre is supposed to have 500 rooms and state of the art equipment, meaning it can house and treat a large number of potential Ebola sufferers. Maybe am outbreak is what it'll take to finally get this building project finished.


8. McGill Downtown Campus

And if the university's swanky new health centre isn't done in time, McGill University itself would be a solid substitute. The downtown campus already has gates on every side, meaning controlling everyone who comes in and out would be a cinch, and the research equipment to try and find a cure and better treatments are already on-site.


9. Montreal's Abandoned Incinerator

Easy there, we're not suggesting we actually re-ignite the incinerator, we're just recommending the use of the space itself. Quite large and all underground, there's little risk of patients feeling squished or infecting others. Looking at some pics, this might be the best option of all.


10. Île Sainte-Hélène

Rather than keep the Ebola-infected folks on the Island of Montreal, we can just send 'em to the nearest other island, Saint Helen's. Medical staff would be able to get there easily by metro and there are already tons of buildings and structures which can be utilized for housing and storage. Having the casino could mean gambling fun for some patients, a good way of getting their minds off of the whole Ebola thing.


11. Jean-Talon Market

Although the rest of the city would be cut-off from local produce and artisanal delicacies, Jean-Talon could make for a good pop-up Ebola treatment site. The indoor space is pretty large and any food products leftover would mean fine eating for Ebola patients.

Looking for more? Click here for How Smoking Marijuana Can Help Fight Ebola >

For more on all things preposterous, follow Michael on Twitter @MDAlimonte

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