8 Struggles Of Being A Freakishly Tall Woman
The weather's fine up here, thanks.
Friends, have you ever grazed the ceiling of a metro car? Or experienced getting a stranger's umbrella right in the forehead? How about getting your hair stuck in a literal tree?
If you've answered yes to any of these questions, then you - like me - might be freakishly tall. It's okay, though. There's nothing wrong with being super tall, just like there's nothing wrong with being super short, or average-height, or whatever it is that you are (#EmbraceYourselves).
Sure, towering over everyone is chill, and getting to use the top of my best friend's head as an armrest is definitely a bonus (pretty convenient, amiright?), but there are certain downfalls that make being tall a real pain in the ass, or head for that matter.
But to say that life is all head-armrests and unobstructed views would be a bit of a lie. The truth is, tall girls have a unique set struggle. Struggles that many people will just never understand.
1. Being asked to grab all the high-shelved things
First of all, why is it people constantly think they can ask me (and a lot of my taller peers) to grab things for them? And I'm talking about complete strangers, here. On a constant basis. I have yet to exit a clothing store without having been asked to reach something on the top rack for a total random.
I mean, I'm glad to help out and all, but sometimes I just want to live my life. Plus, it'd be pretty chill to hear, "Could you help me out with something?" without, "Hey, you're super tall!" directly preceding it.
2. Maxi dresses are not bae
Truth: Maxi dresses are pretty much my favourite things. When they fit right, that is - which is pretty much never.
Although the skirts are really long, many of them seem to have been hemmed with average people in mind. There's nothing wrong with that, except that even the longest maxi dress I own reaches me mid-ankle.
Not cool, maxi dress manufacturers. Not cool.
Of course, if maxi dresses aren't your thing, substitute it for whatever you like that hits you at the most awkward point possible.
Rompers? Jeans? Short-shorts? Crop tops? The list is endless! And if you do find something that fits you length-wise? It's too big. Always. All the time. Constantly.
3. Shoes are just the worst
Heels are a thing of the past. Actually, let me rephrase that: Finding heels is a thing of the past. Apparently, the taller you are, the bigger your shoe size (there's a dirty joke here somewhere)... and the bigger your shoe size, the less cute shoes are available to you.
If you do manage to find the perfect pair in your size (which is 11 for me on a good day, btw), then you have to feel comfortable enough to totally rock them.
Which should be a non-issue, but some of us (me) don't feel comfortable being even closer to the ceiling of the metro cart than we already are, TBH.
Finding regular shoes is an equally huge struggle. The amount of times I've had to order shoes in my size is no joke, guys.
4. Most of the time, you feel like you stick out
Which is cool if you're down to stand out, but not all of us are.
Some of us just want to get through the day without children having to ask their parents why we're so tall. Child, don't even. It's not because I ate my vegetables. It's because my parents are actual trees.
The awkwardness doesn't just stop there, though.
Ever try to take a selfie with a group of friends? It's fun, right? Not if you're super tall, because you've got to squeeze in to match the heights of all your friends, or else risk having your head cut out of every. Single. Photo.
Ever stand front-and-center in a group photo? Bet that's pretty awesome. Wouldn't know what it's like, though.
Ever walk into a ceiling lamp in a public place? It makes a really loud noise. People stare. It's not a good time, friends. Not a good time at all.
5. Umbrellas are the enemy
Like, at all times.
Sharing an umbrella with someone who's not as tall as you are is never fun, because you've got to do an awkward, slouched crab-walk just to fit under the umbrella.
Possibly the worst umbrella situation of all, though? Dodging other people's umbrellas as they launch straight for your eyes. Avoiding those things is like playing a game of Tetris, only 100% more terrible.
6. Doing your hair is about 50 times harder
Mainly because tons of mirrors aren't long enough for you to see your whole head without crouching down.
But also because - and this is a 100% true thing that has happened to me in the past - your freshly done hair might get caught in an actual low-hanging tree branch.
Do not ask me to count the number of times this has happened. Sadly, that number is way too high than what I'm comfortable admitting.
7. And so is dating
Because some guys, apparently, are really not down to date girls who are taller than them.
Which is cool. Different people like different things. Still, it's not the best feeling to get passed up just because you inadvertently tower over someone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
8. Learning to love your tall life
At the end of the day, the most important thing is accepting - and loving - yourself, however tall you might be.
For some people, it might be a bit of a journey to feel comfortable in their own skin, especially if you're getting neck cramps on the daily from having to look down at every single person you speak to.
Once you do, though? The struggles of being tall instantly disappear.
Okay, not really. But you learn to laugh them off instead of making them part of your whole life.