How To Make A First Date A Second Date
Perfect yourself to get perfect dates.
Been out of the dating game for a bit? It's really easy to forget that strangers don't cut you the same slack as your friends tend to, so here's some tips to turn that first date into a second.
1.Don’t be eyeing other people all night.
If you're trying to have a date where there's mad hotties all around you, practice some self restraint, because looking over your date's shoulder all night to see what other fish are floating around you is only going to get a drink in your face. And those other fish aren't going to let your sloppy self mack them either, so, prioritize. Excessive flirting with the waiter/waitress is also a red flag, so err on the safe side.
2.Wear sexy undies.
You don't know where the night's heading, I'm not judging, and sometimes the chemistry's so crazy intense you can't stop the sex train. When that happens, you don't want to be caught in granny panties or your reject tighty whities as the clothes start coming off; nothing stops sexy time faster than spanx.
3.Don’t dress overly sexy.
Keep the sexiness understated, keep the outside classy. It may be hard to keep your cleavage at a respectable level, but you probably want your date-dude to have a conversation with your face and not your neckline, so, tuck them away. Boys, take similar strides: swap your standard wifebeater for a trendy blazer.
4.Manners still matter.
Don't text during your whole date, it's just not cool. If you're expecting an important phonecall/email, apologize and let your girl/guy know. If you're going to be back-and-forth texting after-date plans with your buddies all night, put the damn thing away.
5.Do Facebook stalk him/her. Don’t tell him/her that you did.
I've had so many dates with ridiculous people that managed to seem pretty interesting till I googled/facebooked them, only to uncover a whole bizarre level of douchey weirdness, so this pre-date research can be key. Also, it gives you fodder for when the conversation lags. You really, really don't want those awkward silences you try to cover up with sipping your drink and commenting on your surroundings. Just don't bring up everything they've ever posted online, because that's creepy and a dealbreaker.
6.Don’t get hammered.
Alcohol definitely helps first dates, second dates... the rest of your (potential) relationship, but keep your cocktails restricted. If you're a lightweight, this is even more key; no one wants to deal with a first date who's slobbering during conversation, or is losing all sense of social propriety. Order food to sober up if you find yourself getting a little too shwasted. That being said...
7.Watch What You Eat.
You're just meeting this person, do you really want to give them real time visuals of spaghetti sauce running down your chin? Enough said. Stick to something less messy.
8.Try to appear interested when they’re talking.
Maybe you don't really care about their childhood pet Muttsy and how he's currently struggling with liver failure. I wouldn't either. But make an effort to appear at least mildly interested, because that's going to go a lot further than you trying to change the subject abruptly or making a beeline for the toilets.
9.Just don't even talk about your ex.
Sure, s/he was a jerk/bitch/cheater/[insert negative noun], but you're just meeting this new person and they don't need all of your bitter, jaded baggage. Keep it light and fun, there'll will be plenty of times to get dark if all goes well.
10.Don’t fb friend them after the first date.
This is clingy, and just, a lot. Realistically, though, do you really want to get all the information on their timeline that you're making a play at? Platonic ex, other girls/dudes, pictures? Think about it. You don't want to know, and you don't want them to know either, not just yet.
11.Don’t be cheap.
I once had a date buy a shot of whiskey to sip on all night, at a bar that he'd suggested. Broke? That's okay, there's plenty of fun things to do on a budget or for free, that don't make you look cheap and don't make your date feel awkward. Just, speak up, for fuck's sake.
12.Don’t get ahead of yourself.
It's one date. You had the most amazing time of your life? That's great, luckily your date thought so also, but don't kill it by suffocating them with texts/messages right after telling them how great it was and how much they want to see you again, etc. Play it cool, let it digest, and then work your text wonders.
13.Don’t be a bitch.
Your food order got messed up? Service was bad? That sucks, but try to contain yourself from bitching about it, because there's nothing more unappealing than seeing your date spend ages complaining about what's wrong, and how disrespectful it is, and what is this country coming to. Because, fuck you, deal with it.
14.Be on time.
I hate waiting for people. It's the worst fucking thing in the world, and it's going to put me in a terrible mood--not the best way to start off a first date. And I'm not alone in feeling this way. Text your date if you're running late for a legit reason and it just can't be avoided, and try to make it up to them somehow so they know it's not just something you do constantly without giving it a second thought.
15.Gender equality means splitting the bill.
It's fucking 2013. I don't like power dynamics put in place by the dude paying for a date. Girls, ask to split the bill, and you're going to get less of that usual "expectation" bullshit that accompanies someone buying you dinner. There's a second date if you both had a good time, not just because he footed the bill.
What are some of your first date dealbreaker? Comment below and let me know!