What He's Thinking When He Breaks Up With You
What happens after the fact.
You've been dating for a while now - 2, 3 or 5 years. You're getting to the point where you can't picture yourself without your other half next to you. and then BANG! He breaks up with you.
In your head, he must be cheating or seeing someone else. Why else in their right mind would they just break it off without a legitimate explanation? Because there isn't any. No excuse will justify your broken heart. As much as you want to hear it, it'll never be enough.
Instead of justifying why, you should try understanding why.
Men work in very simple ways. Women try to analyze their behaviours as if they are rats in a lab experiment, it's really not that hard to figure it out. When he breaks it off without any sign or reason, it's because it has nothing to do with you. He needs to live his life, without you in it.
If he's in his mid or late 20's, then he's most likely going through a mid life crisis.
One guy even compared it to pies. (satirical purposes only, I am not calling women pies).
"Don't get me wrong, I love apple pie. But I love cherry, raspberry and strawberry pie too".
He's still young, and the idea of being "tied down" seems like a really long time right now. He want to know that he still has the option to experience other things, and doesn't want to hurt you in the process.
It's an extremely touchy subject. How do you tell the love of your life, that you want to experience other things without them? Some guys are so scared to even think of the confrontation, that they just stay in the relationship instead. But if he stays in the relationship with you, he will always be wondering what the other side looks like.
So, what do you do?
You let him go. Sometimes the right person can come at the wrong time. Which is the hardest battle to fight, because he's taking the risk of possibly losing you forever. But it's not your job to convince him to stay, especially if he doesn't believe that he should be in a relationship.
He's got all these big goals and wants to experience other things - without you. Very often, they have this desire to travel, and live - which they don't always feel like they can do with a partner.
This has nothing to do with the attraction or love he feels for you.
He knows he needs to go and experience that other thing - EVEN if it's to prove he was wrong. The only way he's going to realize - is by experiencing what he's missing.
What if he comes back?
You need to look at this objectively. Is this a selfish decision or a loving one?
He will obviously miss you, and want a connection with you - but you need to critically analyze if he's doing it for the right reasons or because he's lonely. Make sure if you're going to take him back that he doesn't do it again. Have standards. Don't let him play with your head.
Give it a significant period of time without any contact. This time depends on how long you've been dating. Minimum 3 months and should go up to one year depending on the time you've spent together. The longer the better.
You need to rebuild your life - without that person in it.
Only time can tell what will happen next.