Why You're Afraid To Commit To A Serious Relationship
The common problem experienced by Generation Y.
We've all seen it happen before. Either to a friend of ours, or a friend of a friend of ours.
No matter how hard you try, you can't get yourself to commit to a serious relationship.
Everything is going great and then suddenly out of no where, you don't like the person you're dating anymore. You cut him/her off cold turkey, without any explanation because truthfully, you don't even have one.
This also happens to be a pattern of yours, you meet someone - date for a bit - then break it off.
And as much as the person you're dating might have excuses like "he's not ready for something serious" or "he just wants to live life first", the reasons why you are acting the way you do has nothing to do with he person you're dating.
It probably has to do with one (or all) of the following reasons:
1. You've been hurt in the past
Someone who's been hurt before from a relationship will inevitably have trust issues. It doesn't even have to do with you, they have just built up so many walls in the past that you will need to be VERY patient in order to break them all down. And sometimes even if you stick around for long enough to see it, you won't stay long enough to actually see their true colours and vulnerability. Simply because it takes a toll on your self-esteem to have someone you love push you away... Eventually you'll leave too just like the rest of them.
2. You want to test yourself
You've always been in serious relationships, and for once you are single and loving it. Some people stay single simply because they want to prove to themselves that they CAN do it. They don't "need" someone, when they will be ready for a relationship that's when they will commit to someone. Until then, they have programmed themselves not to catch feelings.
3. You haven't met anyone that meets your standards
When you've been single for a while and you learned how to cook, clean, work out, and you're a well established, six foot tall guy with perfect hair and lashes, it's hard to find someone who's on your "level". You don't want to settle, and it seems every girl you meet has imperfections that drive you crazy. It could be the tone of her voice, or even the way she carries her Michael Kors handbag that will make you run for the hills.
4. And even if you did, you two don't want the same things
Then when you FINALLY meet that one person you can relate to and who's well above your standards, she just has to be in a relationship with someone else... OR again she's at the stage you were at a year ago and doesn't want to settle just yet. So now you don't want to get serious with someone else, because, well there isn't anyone else just like her.
5. If you commit now, that means the same person, for the rest of your life...
It's a scary thing for some people. While others can't wait to start their life with someone else, you are so scared of the idea that you reconsider your entire life. It has nothing to do with the person standing in front of you, you're just not mentally ready to give it all up. When a son asked his father what it's like being married, the father responded by deleting all the music on his iPod except for one song. Some people are not ready to listen to Adele all day long...They like variety.
6. You don't get into serious relationships UNLESS it's "the one"
There's no point to waste someone's time if you don't see a future with him/her. You live by that motto. Therefore you have a set of rules, just like not having sleepovers, or not seeing the same person more than so many times a week, or simply not dating them for longer than three weeks since that's the point when they'll start asking you what you guys are. So this is the perfect defence mechanism. We were never anything. I call this "serial dating".
7. You enjoy hanging out with your friends
You've finally found a good group of friends, and you guys do everything together. When I say everything, I mean even take sessions with your personal trainer together. You have replaced a girlfriend with five hairy dudes, but those dudes have been around for ages and they don't ask you to do the dishes or "be cuter". And they're also the best. So why would you consider giving that away for a girl?
8. And having your bed to yourself
Let's not forget being in a serious relationship means sharing your King size bed with another person. Someone who possibly snores, or even kicks you in the face while you're sleeping. Someone who's pager rings every 10 minutes starting at 4 a.m. So you know, being home in your comfortable bed ALONE can sometimes be very pleasing. And you've even found the perfect position to cuddle with your pillows that it replaces a real life person very adequately.
9. You don't want to get distracted from what's REALLY important to you
Insert priority of your choice here. Some people are so committed to their jobs/career, that they don't have the time or energy to commit to something else. They have set clear, concise goals they want to accomplish before they can get into a relationship.
10. Out of 6 of your friends, 3 are married, 3 are divorced
Taken word for word from a guy I dated in the past, when I asked him why he didn't want a serious relationship. Sometimes when you look around you for reasons WHY you should be committed, you find the exact opposite. It's a risky game to play. Why rush into something that ends up breaking apart faster than you can blink. Sometimes when it comes to love, you need to be patient...
At the end of the day, live the life you dream of, scratch everything off your bucket list and when real love comes to find you, let it happen.