Canadians Are Being Bombarded With Poop Dropped From Airplanes And The Government Won't Do Anything About It
Ahhhhh, summer. The festivals are in full swing, international travel is at its peak, and occasional showers of poop are seriously ruining some Canadians' season.
We all know summer weather can be volatile. Just this week a heat wave in eastern Canada killed over thirty people. Summer storms, sure. But torrents of faecal matter? Seriously?
On over a dozen occasions in the last few months, Canadians minding their own business were drenched with...uh...someone else's business.
Currently, the incidents are isolated to the Northwest Territories and British Columbia. The immediate suspects, of course, were airplanes flying overhead. Leaky waste tanks have been the cause of unpleasant weather changes in the past.
After receiving complaints from some pretty disgusted citizens, Transport Canada launched an investigation. But after only a short period, the organization that oversees the airline industry has suddenly closed the case, leaving victims with questions unanswered.
With no identified source and no continuing investigation, the barrages will likely continue. Hopefully no one gets hurt or becomes ill as a result.
In the meantime, there are many jokes and puns to be made. Maybe one day the affected neighbourhoods in western Canada can look back at the incident and laugh.
Locals are sure airplanes are to blame. But until a culprit is caught, residents should remember to leave the house with an umbrella.