I'm Going Broke In Montreal And It's All Coffee's Fault
Lattes are motherfvckers.
This week, I noticed my bank account was looking a little smaller than it normally does.
Which is unusual since my spending habits are pretty predictable and rarely change from week to week.
So what changed?
Well the answer was obvious, my coffee machine broke.
And I don't mean those $30 drip coffee machines either. I've been obsessed with coffee forever so a long time ago I invested in an automatic espresso machine.
They might be expensive, but considering how long they last and how much money you save on coffee, they're definitely worth the investment. Which is why I've already bought a new one.
But let's see what happened in the 7 days I lived without a coffee machine.
On Saturday morning I picked up a couple of coffees for me and my girlfriend which cost about $10. Then after breakfast, we got 2 more. Then 4 more on Sunday morning, followed by about 2 to 3 coffees a day during the week.
On one of those days I forgot my wallet at home, and after panicking like a crack head without crack, I scraped together some change from the floor of my car and bashfully ordered my "fix" with a hand full of nickels and dimes.
That was the moment I realized I was more than just a coffee lover, I was a straight up coffee addict and I had spent $105 on coffee in less than a week. And I was juts buying regular coffees, none of those special Pumpkin Spiced Ariana Grande's that cost $6 each.
That's more than $5000 a year!
So that's where my money went.
At that price I could buy a new espresso machine every 5 to 6 weeks.
But then I had a sad realization.
I still bought coffee when my machine was working. Considerable less, and only on weekdays, but still.
I don't even factor it in to my monthly budget. After all, there are necessary expenses like rent, utilities and food, then there's coffee which is a league of its own.
But all things considered, even with a working coffee machine, we all spend way too much on coffee.
If you buy coffee everyday, you're straight up crazy, and if you own an espresso machine or one of those k-cup brewers, you're still spending a shit ton of money.
So what's the solution?
We've come up with one, now we just need a brave Montreal coffee shop to take on the challenge:
How amazing would it be to pay a single yearly fee to cover all your coffee needs?
One $3 coffee a day costs about $1176, which means cafes could sell a "1 coffee a day" card for $1000. They could also offer "2 a day" or even "unlimited" options when one coffee just isn't enough.
This way if I do end up going broke one day, I'll know it wasn't coffee's fault.
So if any coffee shop owners are reading this, please consider the idea. You'd be making a lot of coffee addicts very happy.