Laval Has Officially Postponed Christmas Due To A Lack Of Snow
"Refreeze your turkey, take down your tree, and go back to work," say municipal authorities.
- You thought a postponed Halloween was bad? Well, think twice.
- The city of Laval has postponed Christmas in an official announcement blaming the lack of snow for the cancellation of the holiday event.
- See the (obviously satirical, in case you were really worried) announcement below.
For perhaps the first time in history, Laval's Christmas has been postponed due to a lack of snow. That's right - the municipal authority of the City of Laval postponed Christmas to January 25th. This decision is surprising but seeing as we're used to a white Christmas, Laval's decision makes sense.
No word from Mayor Valérie Plante about Christmas being cancelled in Montreal, but stay tuned. For now, let's go about our regular holiday business of being stuck in a gift wrapping queue at the Eaton Centre and rushing to buy a last-minute gift that will be sold out.
Honestly, it might help everyone's stress levels if Christmas was postponed for one month. That way, you have one more month to put off buying a gift.
Municipal authorities in Laval are recommending that people should "refreeze [their] turkey, take down [their] tree, and go back to work," which might, in fact, add to people's stress.
While you shouldn't refreeze a turkey, you can save your Christmas tree by planting it in your front or backyard. The more decorations on the tree, the better. Christmas may be postponed, but no one cancelled holiday cheer.
As for work... call in sick?
If one more month of listening to Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas sounds inhumane to you, we recommend that you get out of here and.
It's no wonder Laval is quickly becoming.
With progressive ideas like postponing Christmas and getting a famous, Laval is giving Montreal a run for its money. If Laval ever gets a metro, watch out.
Laval residents are actually taking the news quite well, commenting that they are "proud" of their city and that "they finally made a good decision."
Keep in mind that most of the commenters are adults because I'm sure kids are absolutely crushed.
Pro-tip for kids: maybe you can convince your parents to give you two rounds of gifts. Also, what are you doing reading MTL Blog on Christmas eve, kid? Go play in the sn...oh, right.
In anticipation of Laval residents ignoring the postponement (much like Montrealers did this Halloween), municipal authorities are still moving forward with holiday schedules for public services.
Translation: During the holiday season, on December 24, 25, 26 and 31, 2019 and January 1 and 2, 2020, Laval residents will be able to park their cars on both sides of the streets where seasonal parking regulations are normally in effect.
Those of you who are quick to blame the postponement on climate change, save it for the (postponed) Christmas dinner argument with your conservative uncle.
You have plenty of time to refine your key points and a whole extra month of tweets to support your argument. You got this.
Merry April Fool's in December, everybody.