The city of Montreal has announced yet another extravagant plan to beautify the city in time for our 375th anniversary. Unfortunately for us, it's not really a functional or practical project. The city plans on lighting up the Jacques Cartier Bridge. Because everyone knows you can't be recognized as world class city without covering something with glowing lights. Plus it'll make for some pretty sweet post cards in all those little Old Port souvenir shops.\nDon't get me wrong it does look cool as hell, but in the end it's something pretty to look at that doesn't really do anything (much like this $1.1 million Ferris wheel that doesn't actually work) and it costs a shit-ton of money. How much money? Just a tiny little $39.5 million. But as we all know Montreal is like that friend you have who says he'll be there in 5 minutes but you know that really means 20 minutes. So hopefully it will only cost the city $39.5 million.\nThe funniest thing to come out of all this is the fact that Denis Coderre referred to people who oppose the project as Trolls.\nGet it? Bridge ... Trolls. Okay I'm done now.