The 10 Worst Things About Springtime In Montreal
These may just make you wish for winter again!
It's really easy to get excited about Spring. I mean, the weather is going to get better, flowers will be blooming. And Springtime just means that we're that much closer to summer.
Unfortunately, this "in-between" season comes with a whole lot of faults. And I mean big ones. It may be the easier choice to try and ignore the serious downfalls of Spring and just concentrate on the good, but this is reality people. And the reality of the situation is that sometimes, Spring seriously sucks.
So here are 10 of the reasons why Spring isn't as great as it may seem to be. They're unavoidable, they're intollerable, they're real and they're coming for you.
If you have allergies, then Spring is pretty much the worst time of year for you. There's absolutely nothing you can do. I mean, you can try Antihistamines but anyone who actually has allergies knows that there really is no escape. Being drugged up isn't exactly the ideal situation either if you're trying to go about your daily life. You will be itchy. You will sneeze. Your eyes will water. The worst part is, Spring is often the time when you discover that you're allergic things you never were before. Just stay away from plants and well, the outdoors.
2. Garbage under the melted snow
As soon as the snow melts, Montrealers commence a kind of scavenger hunt to see what they can find. Some of it is good, but most of it bad. I once found a twenty in a ditch but other than that, it's just trash, trash and more trash. Come Springtime, our city looks absolutely disgusting and I'm really not proud of it. We have to hire a whole bunch of people to just go around the city and clean it up. It's very gross. You never know what you're going to find under there, and the possibilities are terrifying.
Oh yes, students beware. We're all nice and excited for the warm weather and for the opportunity to be able to get out of these stuffy classrooms filled with people we don't like, but before that can happen we have to face our worst fear: finals. The thing is, with the weather getting better it makes it harder and harder to concentrate in class. You may find your eyes wandering to the window where the sunlight is peaking in or fidgeting WAY before the class is scheduled to finish. Spring means finals, and finals means death. So logically, Spring means death.
4. The weather cannot make up its mind
Now I know you are all going to agree with me on this one because this year's back and forth is honestly giving me whiplash. Mother Nature is seriously playing with our emotions. The weather will get warm, so we'll get all excited and start putting away our winter jackets and boots and then BAM, snowstorm. Now, I get that it might happen once. I might even be okay with it happening twice. But this year it has gone TOO FAR. It's April and for the last week it has felt like January. We're suppoesd to be gardening right now. The weather is all over the place. Is it winter? Is it summer? Who knows? I sure don't.
5. Everyone gets sick
With the change in temperature comes the sniffles. Some of this is our fault and some of it isn't. Naturally, once it starts getting warmer we start to wear fewer layers. Well, that can backfire really quick when the weather decides to shoot down 10 degrees out of nowhere. And then you find yourself shivering in the streets because you thought it was going to be warm. Either way, the constant back and forth between cold and hot makes us sick. And then once one of us is sick, everyone is sick. Springtime is just sicktime. Get your tissue ready.
Now I'm all for being environmentally friendly, and I actually love biking. But the cyclists in Montreal can seriously get on your nerves. For one thing, most of them think they are cars and bike wherever the hell they want. And then there's some of them who decide to ride on the sidewalks and practically run over pedestrians. With the weather getting nicer, you can put your money on the fact that cyclists will soon swarm the streets, and there is absolutely no escape.
7. Invasion of squirrels
Ah, our furry friends. Gotta love em', right? Wrong! Squirrels can be cute don't get me wrong but when Spring comes around in Montreal I honestly feel like I see a squirrel everywhere I look. If they mind their own business, I don't mind. Do you, nature. But the things about squirrels is that they don't mind their own business. They come right up in your face and get for food. If you try and take a walk on Mount Royal, you're screwed. They will not leave you alone! You'll practically have to run away from them! I once saw a squirrel jump onto a girl's head and let me tell you it wasn't pretty.
8. Slush, endless slush
Who likes having their feet wet? No one at all. Well, in Spring having freezing cold toes is kind of an inevitability. The culprit? Slush. And I don't mean the sugary cold drink, I mean the half melted snow that plagues our streets. Slush is truly the ennemy. It gets in your shoes, it gets in your socks. It gets in your soul. The sidewalks become slippery and puddles are everywhere! Don't even get me started on the streets. I duck for cover whenever a ar comes near me for fear of being sprayed with a fountain of dirty street slush.
Buzzzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzzz. Do you hear it? They're coming for you. I have a personal vendetta against insects because for some reason they absolutely love me. Wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, they find me. I know tons of people that are afraid of the creepy crawlies. I'm talking spiders, I'm talking ants, I'm talking mosquitos. Oh yeah, those blood suckers are on their way too. You need to be super careful about dropping food on the groud because before you know it you could have an entire colony of ants living in your kitchen. And make sure to check your ceiling before closing your eyes at night. There's problem a spider on it.
10. You've got to get in shape again
Everyone gains a couple of pounds in the winter. It's normal. You don't go outside as much. You eat to make yourself feel better when you're freezing and cranky. But now that Spring is coming, the layers are going to be stripped off to reveal the chubbiness beneath. Before you know it, it's going to be swimsuit season! So, for everyone who is even the slightest bit self-conscious, Spring can be a nightmare. Why can't we just keep on our big fluffy sweaters forever? Who invented sundresses anyway?