The Most Stupid Ways People Have Died In Canada
'If you die in Canada, do you die in real life?'
Canada is known to be a safe and friendly place, but that doesn't mean there are no dangers here.
People die in freak accidents everyday in this country.
But unlike our cousins in the south who enjoy shooting each other, we Canadians like to die in typically Canadian ways. However unlikely they may be.
Becoming Bear Poop
That's not something you would want written on your tombstone. But considering we have Black Bears, Brown Bears, Grizzly Bears, and Polar Bears in Canada, attacks are actually pretty common.
Last year in BC a couple was out camping. The man slept near the fire pit while his fiancee decided to sleep in a motor-home. When she woke up she found his half eaten body.
Bitten By the Only Venomous Spider In the Country
You may think there are no venomous spiders in Canada, but you're wrong. There is species in this country with enough venom to kill you. The Black Widow. It's the only venomous spider in Canada and it's extremely rare, so if one of them bites you, it was divine intervention.
Getting Snuck Up On By A Noisy Snake
One again, I thought this kind of thing was reserved for a place like Australia, but Canada is actually home to two venomous rattlesnakes that can be found in Ontario, B.C., Alberta, and Saskatchewan. Bites are rare and usually happen by accident when someone stepped on it. but think about that, you died because you couldn't see or hear a snake that has's practically called "noise maker".
Taking A Picture Of A Deer
When you think of people dying because of elk or deer, you probably imagine it was a car accident since they tend to wander onto highways. But the fact is that deer and elk can and will kill you if you get too close to them in the wild.
Males have a tendency to charge at people, especially during mating season and pregnant females can also be very aggressive. So please, it's an easily avoidable way to die. Don't be stupid and don't get too close.
Not Being Careful Near 1,500 Pound Animal
Moose may look stupid and slow, but they actually kill more people in Canada than bears. Sop why the hell aren't people afraid of them? It's a 1,500 pound wild animal, why are getting so close? So the next time you see a moose, just pretend it's a bear and run.
Run like Leo Dicaprio should have done in The Revenant.
Moose are very territorial and they will charge if you provoke them or if they feel threatened. And if you hit one of them with your car, you probbaly won't walk away in one piece.
Killed By A Cat
Sure it's a big cat, but it's still a cat. And getting killed by a cat sucks and it doesn't look good in the obituary. Unfortunately cougar attacks actually do happen in Canada. And since there are no recommendation as to what to do to survive a cougar attack, I suggest you just try your best not come face to face with one.
Skiing Into A Tree
This has happened to me once before, but luckily I wasn't going very fast. Many skiing deaths occur in Canada every year, just because someone took a wrong turn or didn't pay enough attention.
Sometimes they don't even need to hit a tree. Liam Neeson's wife died on a bunny hill.
The Least Cool Way To Die With A Volcano
In BC there is a volcano above the river Tseax called the Tseax Cone. Although it is currently dormant, scientists believe it could reawaken at any time. This time however, it's not lava you need to worry about, it's the gas. 2,000 people were poisoned by smoke and gas released from the volcano the last time it erupted. It's Canada's worst known geophysical disaster.
If you going to get killed by a volcano, at least make sure you get killed by the lava.
Freezing To Death
In Canada, you can die just by standing outside. And there's something very unsettling about that.
What is this, the moon?
People get caught in storms all the time and try to walk for help. If this happens, I cannot stress enough how important it is to stay put. a bad storm will kill you a lot faster than you think. 15 years ago, some cops rounded up some drunk people and abandoned them outside overnight. They all froze to death and it became the subject of 2 movies.