Sh!t Only Montreal Girls Say
#1 'I met this nice guy from Westmount...'
Montreal girls are known to be really hot. We've actually officially made it to the top 10 list of cities with thein the world. There are also other things that can help you spot typical Montreal girls... Like the shit we say, for example. It's funny how we're all so different, yet so alike. I want all my Montreal girls to know that we're by far the best girls in the world even though the things we say make zero sense sometimes.
1. "I met this nice guy from Westmount..."
It's a known fact that, generally, Montrealers categorize people by the area they live in. As soon as you meet someone new, you get asked which area you live in, it's just how things work in Montreal, get used to it. Hipsters live in the Plateau, businessmen live downtown and, well, nice guys live in Westmount.
2. "The weather is so bipolar, I never know what to wear."
Weather in Montreal has more issues than Vogue. Like, one day it's freezing, next day it's so hot, you can't breath. This condition makes us, girls, struggle with wardrobe decisions on a daily basis. #firstworldproblems
3. "I'm craving poutine right now."
Every Montreal girl craves poutine at one point in her life (at least once a week). You CANNOT call yourself a real Montreal girl if your body doesn't require a combination of French fries, gravy and cheese curds from time to time. You just can't.
Someone stepped on your foot? You apologize. Someone accidentally hit you on the head? You laugh and apologize. You walked into a parking meter because you were walking and texting at the same time? You apologize!!!
5. "I'm in real estate"
If you're from Montreal, chances are you know at least twenty real estate agents. At least. Most of them are hot girls. Montreal scientists have conducted an actual research that showed the following results: if you see a hot girl walking on St-Catherine street, there is an 87% probability that she's a real estate agent. NOT! Juuuust kidding, you guys.
6. "OMG! I love this song!"
Whether you're at New City Gas, Flyjin or Apt. 200, you LOVE this song. Do you realize that, most of the time, when we say we "love this song", that song is not even in our top 20 favorite music? Like, it basically means that we just heard this song at one point in our lives... but we can't simply say, "Oh, I know this song!" We have to exaggerate and say that we freaking LOVE it!
7. "Let's go up North for the weekend"
Montreal girls love to spend weekends up North. Also, every Montreal girl knows someone whose parents own a cottage in Tremblant or Esterel.
8. "I'm stuck in traffic, there's construction everywhere"
Detours, detours and more detours. We swear that we're never taking Decarie highway ever again in our lives, but we always end up taking it somehow.
9. "Let's go to a terrace"
Every Montreal girl knows that summer means sangrias on a terrace. Rooftop terrace, preferably. Well, it starts with sangrias and progresses to hard liquor like. You might also hear something like, "I only smoke when I drink" and "Let's do shots!" throughout the night.
10. "It's freezing outside, WTF!"
I hate to be a party pooper, but winter is coming real soon and it's so depressing. You know that feeling when the air hurts your face? No? Then you're definitely not a Montreal girl. Oh, and we're really not looking forward to winter, fyi.