Why You're Having "Normal" Sex And That's Okay
You don't need a whip to have a good time.
To be fair, all sex is "normal". In truth, I kinda hate that term. As long as you're having consensual and safe sex, everything is fair game in my book. The surge of BDSM and fetish acceptance has been a fvcking enlightening movement. It's prudent we all try to understand each other a little bit more, open our minds, and realize that just because something is different, doesn't mean it's "wrong". I mean a lot of people do it. A Durex study, found that 36% of people in the U.S. use props (blindfolds, bondage) during sex, and in an alternate study, it found that 17% of people have experimented with even more intense practices such as hypoxyphilia and skin branding. Conclusively, we can say that there are some kinky mofos walking among us.
But what are you supposed to do when you're into a more vanilla approach to sex? With the release of "50 Shades of Grey" this February, it can kinda feel like the sex you're having is "boring", when the media makes it all seem like whips, leather, and smoke.
The theatrics involved with BDSM are pretty cool, but it also takes research, communication and precautions to be done properly, or else you can end up with a catastrophic outcome. It's not anything like what we see in 50 Shades, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Unless you're bored, your sex isn't boring, I'll tell you that much. I think when people talk about sex, they try to amp it up to seem up to par with current trends, and can you blame us? When you're young, the only concrete thing you really have is a preconceived notion of what's meant to happen during sex. But in general, the bra doesn't seamlessly fall of your body, the movement from position to position is anything but graceful, and you don't sink down out of the camera shot to embrace in the throws of passion. It can be messy and jolty, the wrong song plays while you climax and you're constantly worried about sweating too much. But that doesn't mean it's boring either. It just means it's human.
We have sex because it feels good. Whether you do it with your girlfriend, husband, or one night fling - it's all about that sweet release. The bells and whistles are just another facet to understanding what you want and need in the bedroom. Only about a third of women can reach vaginal orgasm without extra stimulation. Another third can't reach vaginal orgasm at all. It's all about keeping an open mind and finding what works for you. Sex is never going to be this sensationalized trip the media makes it out to be, but it sure as Hell can be fun.
All in all, it's better not to over think it. If your partner is up for it, and it makes your sex life better, who gives a crap what anyone else thinks.