Photo cred - abeardration
Men of Montreal, we know you think you got game, and some of you do, though you fellas are the exception to the norm. As good looking and handsome as y'all are, for some reason you seem to think the guys 'n gals you're after will simply hand out their digits and let you enter their bedrooms simply because you look like the hippest guy around. Not the case, 'cuz you need the game to match the looks.
It's time to #stepup, and Smirnoff has your back on two fronts.
One: Smirnoff's new Double Black Vodka, the bold new line from the vodka specialists of Smirnoff. Charcoal filtered ten times, double freezed, and triple distilled to a mean 42%, all packaged in a super-suave black bottle, Smirnoff's Double Black is the vodka you should be buying to impress any fun-time friend.
And on second front, and even more important, is the Smirnoff Double Blackademy. A crash-course in the modern ways of game, the Dean of the Smirnoff Double Blackademy will give you tips, trends, and hacks to step up your game. Some guys simply need to learn what not to do, I know all y'all ladies (and fellahs) out there feel the same.
Never, Ever, Use A Straw
A simple tip that many forget: when you're drinking a cocktail, don't use those so-thin-they-can-barely-take-in-liquid straws because they kinda make you look like a wuss. Look a little more respectable and just drink straight out of the cup. Even if you're rocking sangria (which must mean you're incredibly comfortable in your masculinity) don't go for the straw, its less functional and way less fashionable. The Smirnoff Double Blackademy agrees, #stepup.
Trim Your Beard
Beards are in and we love 'em, no doubt about that, but growing a beard isn't enough, you gotta groom that facial hair. The lumberjack look is only sexy when its a little bit stylized with a trimmed beard, and not all grown out to make you look like a wild man. Show that you can rough it while being refined and trim your beard guys.
Matching Winter Apparel
You've got them to coat check, you're about to head out to a quieter venue (or maybe you're place) and things are going quite smoothly. That is, until, the coat check person comes back with your blue coat, magenta scarf, neon yellow gloves, and lime green toque, and your new-found friend is already heading back into the bar. Just like your outfit, your winter-wear should match, and not look like a thrift store vomited all over you. Look good going in and going out.
Photo cred - Smirnoff
Order a Double Black Vodka Martini
Beer or a basic cocktail won't make you seem any different than any of the other scrubs in the bar. Having a Double Black Vodka Martini in your hand will automatically give you James Bond-level appeal, and make you seem incredibly knowledgeable in the world of alcohol.
No Behind Grind
We're not really sure when this became socially acceptable to do at a club (or anywhere) but guys, never, under no circumstances, pull the surprise grind from behind on someone. Nothing is more creepy, startling, and altogether off-putting than having your personal space randomly invaded by some random scrub who starts trying to grind with your behind. Have some confidence and go in from the front, at least that way the person can give you a clue as to whether they're into it or not.
Show Your Tats, Don't Show Them Off
A tatted man is a sexy thing, when he's being modest about it. Wearing a tee or muscle shirt that shows parts of your tattoos is intriguing, making people want to see more and giving them a conversation starter, thus cutting your work in half. Unflattering is a dude who automatically opens a dialogue with "do you wanna see my tattoos" and instantly lifts his shirt up to reveal a rib tat and a six pack of abs that he totally forgot was there, obviously. Modesty goes a long way, so use it.
Poutine Is Not A Dinner Date
We love poutine, y'all know that, though we wouldn't recommend the dish to anyone looking to impress someone. Grabbing a poutine as a date is something you do with your long-time SO, where you're already super comfortable with being gross and greasy in front of each other. When things are first starting out, its best to hide the poutine-eating part of you, because trust, it ain't pretty. Go for gold and cook your date dinner, just make sure a microwave is not involved. #stepup
Put Your Cellphone Away
From first encounter, to first date, to third (if it even gets that far), making sure you're paying attention to the person you're trying to bed is incredibly important. You need to make them feel special, important, and worthy of your undivided focus. In line with that, put you're freaking cellphone down and don't check it needlessly every 5 minutes. You are simply not that popular, no one is. Checking your cellphone mid-conversation is basically saying "I'm bored, how much longer is this going to take," thus putting your potential bedmate in a pretty sour mood. Wait 'til they go to the washroom, then check Facebook and texts.
Ask Questions & Don't Ramble
Lets face it fellas, you're not that interesting. Unless you're a millionaire playboy who builds mechanical supersuits, there's no doubt whoever you're talking to has heard it before. Being a musician, an artist, a business exec, or barista means nothing, because Montreal has plenty of men who are exactly the same. Save yourself some trouble and don't talk about your life, instead, ask questions about their life. Everyone loves to talk about themselves, so use that to your advantage. Just like in that classic scene from the 40 Year Old Virgin, you can say and learn more by saying next to nothing at all.
Sign Up To The Smirnoff Double Blackacademy
Want more tips on how you can step up your game? Sign up to Smirnoff's Double Blackacademy, where the Dean will give you all sorts of tips on how you can #STEPUP for the better.