Photo cred - Philippe Leclaire

Given all of the partying that goes on around Montreal, it’s no surprise that there are a bunch of places to go when you’re drunk and ready to chow down. Since there are so many options, the place where you decide to spend your hard-earned dollars on drunk eats represents a difficult but revealing choice. Luckily for you, we here at MTL Blog have done the heavy lifting and figured out what your drunk food preference means. Here’s what your choice of Montreal drunk food says about you.

The Creation at Boustan

Various Locations

Simply put, you want it all. You can’t make up your mind as to whether you want chicken, eggplant, or potatoes—so you get them all wrapped up in a pita and shove the thing in your mouth as quickly as you can. Decision-making isn’t exactly your thing, but sandwiches like this one make the world tolerable for people like you.

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Poutine At La Banquise

994 Rue Rachel Est

You’re all about keeping your options open, and you love to experiment. Without forsaking old standbys like the classic gravy and cheese curds, you’re willing to branch out into uncharted territory like the guacamole poutine. Not only that, but you know what you want, and you’re not going to let intimidatingly long lines of drunk people get in your way.

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Cheeseburger at Buns

3673 Boulevard St-Laurent

In the words of a famous tune, “The best things in life are free,” and that’s a statement you take to heart. You’d be down for pretty much anything as long as it came with free mozzarella. Having a salty and delicious patty along with it certainly helps, but it’s the complimentary cheese that really keeps you hooked. You’re a little stingy, but the only people who call you out on it are the suckers who get stuck paying extra to upgrade to a cheeseburger.

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Photo cred - @natalienardozza

Fries At Frites Alors

Various Locations

You’re okay with lowering your standards enough to eat what’s traditionally thought of as a trashy food, but only if it’s presented in the classiest manner possible. You’re not above munching on some fries at the end of your night, assuming that they’re served with a range of exotic sauces like their Béarnaise, which is made of mayo, shallots, white wine, chevril, and tarragon. Even when you’re hammered out of your mind, you’re still a discerning consumer.

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Smoked Meat At Main

3864 Boulevard St-Laurent

You’re wise enough to know that Schwartz’s is for tourists and suckers. Granted, by the time you’re ready to head home, Le Main is probably your only option for smoked meat on the main stretch of St-Lo, but even when it’s earlier, you know that you’re better off skipping the line at Schwartz’s and heading across the street. Congratulations, you’re clearly very knowledgable about all things Montreal.

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Steamies At Montreal Pool Room

1217 Boulevard St-Laurent

You’re not particularly high maintenance, and you couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about it. You’d be just as happy to get your hands on one of these affordable bites of heaven as you would be with filet mignon or lobster. The simple things in life (like steamed hot dogs) are more than enough to please you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Bagels At Fairmount Bagel

74 Avenue Fairmount Ouest

Just because you’re drunk, it doesn’t mean that you have to lower your standards, and you know it. No matter how many shots you’ve taken, nothing’s going to stop you from biting into one or four of the world’s best bagels. Since Fairmount is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you can often be found partying late into the night and early into the following morning (even if the law tries to stop you).

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Donuts at Tim Hortons

Various Locations

Indulging in all of that alcohol wasn’t enough for you—you need to get a ton of sugar in your system as well. A huge mass of fried dough sounds to you like the perfect chaser for all of those shots of Jack you did, and it’s even better if it’s filled with cream. You’re not going to let obstacles like a cluster of fighting homeless guys get between you and your sickly sweet pastry.

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Photo cred - @susan_ung

Pizza At Pizza Madonna

Various Locations

Other people say you have low standards, but you think of yourself as having an open mind. Either way you put it, you’re not exactly the most discerning consumer. You’d be totally okay with chowing down on damn near anything, as long as it was covered in cheese and soaked in an absurd amount of grease. Your friends laugh at you behind your back, but you know that deep down they’re just jealous.

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Ramen At Big in Japan

3723 Boulevard St-Laurent

You just chugged a whole bunch of beer, but you don’t see why that should keep you from downing a giant bowl of ramen. You always live life to its fullest, and words like “gluttony” and “greed” mean nothing to you. You'll get some awkward stares as you inhale pork with noodle strands hanging out of your mouth, but you know that they’re all coming from a bunch of pansies.

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$2 Chow Mein On Saint-Laurent

3671 Boulevard St-Laurent

Being classy is not exactly your top concern. As long as you’ve got your pan-fried noodles with a heap of peanut butter and Sriracha on top, you’re happy with yourself, regardless of what anyone else thinks. You probably don’t have the highest standards for mates, living conditions, or anything, really, but you don’t let it get in the way of you having a good time.

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For more, follow Max on Twitter @mbled210

Still hungry? Click here for the Best Montreal Oysters >

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