Fvcked Up Origins Of Your Favourite Childhood Stories
Growing up watching Disney films, it's pretty disturbing to find out how censored these were compared to the original versions, especially the supremely fucked up Grimm's brothers versions. Think pedophilia, self-mutilation, cut-off limbs and mass amounts of blood in general. Kids just used to be harder back then.
This may ruin your childhood memories just a little, but don't you just gotta know?
1)The Little Mermaid
In the original 1837 version, the little mermaid traded tongue and fins for human legs, but along with the gift of vertical mobility, she also got constant stabbing pains in her limbs. When the prince marries some other girl, the mermaid thinks of stabbing him to death so that his blood can work its magic on her and give her her tail back. She bitches out though.
In one of the original versions, Goldilocks was actually a little old woman who broke into the home of the three bears. When the bears wake her, she jumps out a window and either dies or is sent to the “House of Correction”. In another version, the bears take justice in their own hands when they find her, and kill/eat her for dinner. After all, she did eat their porridge.
3)Beauty and the Beast
Beauty’s sisters were scheming cunts that tried to get her eaten by the Beast; they didn’t think he’d fall in love with her, you see. This is kind of underwhelming though, you'd think they'd get mauled by universe karma, but no such luck.
4)Hansel and Gretel
Ever wonder why Hansel and Gretel were in the forest in the first place? Yeah, their parents kind of just left them in the forest because the family was starving to death during a famine. And when the kids got done with their candy cottage adventure, they got home to find their mother dead, no explanations. Brutal. Should’ve hurried to bring her back candy.
Remember how badly Cinderella’s sister wanted to get their pudgy paws into that glass slipper? In the original version, they actually chopped off their toes and heels to get the damn thing to fit. The prince was kind of an oblivious tool and didn’t notice till some bird tweeted the truth at him. Idiot.
Also, when they try to attend Cinderella and the prince’s wedding, birds peck out their eyes to punish them.
Remember when the miller’s daughter guessed Rumpelstiltskin’s real name and he got all angry and disappeared? Yeah, no, he actually pulled off both his legs and died like that. Bitch just couldn’t take losing.
7)Little Red Riding Hood
This one I’ve heard of already. There are a bunch of variations of the Little Red Riding Hood, and one of the grosser ones is Little Red Hat, which replaces the wolf with an ogre who feeds the little girl her own grandmother. The little dumbass thinks her granny’s teeth are rice, her flesh is steak and her blood is wine. C’mon, kid, seriously?
8)The Pied Piper
I only ever read the original where the Pied Piper gets really pissed off at the townsfolk when they refuse to pay up, and leads the town’s children to drown themselves in the river. So, that’s pretty dark in itself, but lit scholars have said that there’s some hints at pedophilia in the tale as well. Nasty.
So, in the raunchier non-Disney version, Sleeping Beauty isn’t wakened by the “magic of love’s kiss,” oh no. The king gets a boner seeing her asleep and innocent and what not, and rapes her. She stays asleep and gives birth to two children—WHILE ASLEEP. Fucked up. She wakes when one of her kids sucks her finger and gets rid of whatever was keeping her asleep. Raped and a mother of two? Not the best way to start your day.
10)The Lion King
Hamlet re-adaptation, but you knew that. The only difference is that everyone dies at the end of Hamlet, but you gotta leave something for the idealistic kids that watch Disney films.
Did you know these already or will you never see your childhood entertainment with the same affection again? Had to enlighten you, though.