Over the weekend, while spending some time in and enjoying my free time, I happened to briefly look up at my ceiling and out of the corner of my eye noticed a long, brown, furry object.
TL;DR Centipedes are invading homes across Canada, scurrying around at dangerously fast speeds and sporting venomous jaws that can leave a super painful bite. It's recommended that you start using a dehumidifier if you think you have a centipede problem.
After a double-take, it dawned on me that this, in fact, was not a weird space creature camping out in my home. It was a horrifying centipede.
I'm not going to beat around the bush here. Centipedes are not only disgusting but also terrifying. After grabbing a shoe and mentally preparing myself to squash this invader, I reminded myself that these things can seriously run.
When I say run, I mean these things use all their legs to their fullest potential. Quickly, I swung the shoe at the nasty critter... only for it to jump at lightening speed down from my ceiling and scurry under my couch.
Fast forward to yesterday. After almost recovering from the fear of one of these things hiding somewhere in my house, I discover an even bigger and fuzzier one in my bathtub. It looked like a creature that was a mix of hair you pull out of a shower drain and a furry tarantula. Needless to say, this thing had to go.
In an incredibly desperate attempt to end the haunting of the centipedes once and for all, I charged at it with a vacuum. Did it get sucked into the vacuum chamber? Yes. Is it dead? I have no idea.
So, why are these horrible creatures returning to the city? It's probably due to the sudden cold we've been getting as well as the strong winds brought on by recent storms.
Some fun (not) facts you probably would have never known about centipedes are that they can actually live up to six years, meaning there might actually be one in your house that's been camping out for years. On top of that, they have super venomous jaws. Although there isn't any lasting harm from one of these bites, they seriously hurt and make the idea of these monsters in your house that much more creepy.
The nightmarish creepy-crawlies are starting to invade homes across the country, most likely looking for a place to settle down for the winter. To make matters worse, they're typically nocturnal and leave no signs of infestation.
The Government of Canada's pest control page tries to console us by explaining these fuzzy aliens actually help eliminate spiders, bed bugs, cockroaches, and more. Is it redeeming quality or just even more frightening to know they have the ability to eat giant spiders?
These not-so-tiny demons could be invading your house and you don't even know it. At night while you sleep they could be venturing out of their hiding spots and taking over your home, eating all your food, using your Netflix account without even paying a share of the rent! The little sh*ts are truly the worst insects to ever exist.
So, how do you get rid of them? You don't, they get rid of you.
In all seriousness, you can use a dehumidifier in your house as centipedes love to spend their days in damp areas. You should also make sure you seal any cracks around your house, because that's probably how they're getting in.
The truth is, we probably won't ever be able to get rid of centipedes invading Canadian homes. They will always outsmart us or outrun us and join together to eventually overthrow the human race. All we can do it prepare for the worst and buy bug spray. Lots and lots of bug spray.