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How To Have A Perfect One-Night Stand In Montreal

Your short-term relationship without long-term consequences.
How To Have A Perfect One-Night Stand In Montreal

Long weekend is upon us, people! It's the perfect time for all kinds of bad decisions, booze and YOLO's. I guess this post is addressed to girls more than guys, for obvious reasons - I'm a girl.

You might remember this post, where I spoke about how awesome it is to be a single girl in Montreal. Well, there's more to it. I'd like to elaborate on #14. Do single people have a more exciting sex life? Yes they do. Being single allows for multiple one night stands that can be a LOT of fun if done properly. Without further ado, I present to you everything you need to know about seamless, no-strings-attached "fun" in Montreal. *wink wink*

1. Be prepared

Hooking up with dudes is fun and all, but you always have to be on top of your game. It's extremely important to be mentally prepared for your night - don't expect to find a boyfriend. You're going out to have fun, NOT to look for love. The only way you can enjoy a one-night stand is to go into it with the right mindset.

2. Pick your location

Always choose bars over clubs, obviously. You have to be able to talk to people. When the music is too loud, shit just gets weird. So grab your girlfriends and head to a bar in the Plateau, for example. Here's a list of cool dive bars in the Plateau area.


Pick a victim and go for it, girl. It's quite possibly the funnest part of this whole experiment. Seducing a guy is a LOT of fun. There he is, a helpless gazelle sitting in the corner, sipping on his vodka-soda, clueless... and you attack him like a lady tiger, boom! Be bold and confident. Flatter him, maintain eye contact and use casual physical touch.

4. Get him away from his group of friends

Just use this fail proof line - "You wanna get out of here?"

5. Your place over his

If he's a hot tall hipster with tattoos and a man bun, he probably lives in a weird Mile-End apartment and has roommates or, even worse, lives with his parents. In addition, you should always think of your own safety first. You just met someone you don't know anything about. Invite him over to your place "for a drink".

6. Have fun!

Experiment and let loose! You'll most probably never see this guy again. Do everything you've always dreamed of doing with your ex-boyfriend but were too shy to ask. Be weird, whatever, who cares. Please, be safe though, mkay?

7. Tell him you have an early meeting in the morning

Do NOT let him stay over. Staying over is a privilege reserved for boyfriends, not random guys you meet at bars. Politely ask him to leave... If it looks like he wants to stick around, then something like, "Let me call you an Uber" should work.

8. Kiss goodbye

That's it, give him a kiss goodbye, his Uber is waiting outside. You did it! You're officially an alpha-female. Congratulations!

9. Hit the gym the next morning

You'll probably wake up feeling super accomplished. Here's a list of Montreal gyms that will help keep your spirits up throughout the day. Happy vibes.

10. Brunch with girlfriends

You HAVE to do a recap of the night with your girlfriends. It's an unwritten law, no joke. If you don't discuss your adventures with the girls, it's like it didn't happen. Nothing in the world is better than brunch, mimosas and last night's stories. Here, check out this list of Montreal's boozy brunch restaurants for inspiration. You're welcome.

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