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I Recently Gave Up Drinking Alcohol Cold Turkey, And It Was The Best Decision Of My Life

If you've ever in your life met me, then you know one thing for sure: I am (was?) a huge, huge drinker.

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I've been drinking pretty heavily at least since I was 16 years old, so booze has been super present in my life for at least a decade.

via @ciaomiranda12

And when I say "drinking pretty heavily", I really, legit mean it. 

So, you know how some people work all week and then just go out on a Friday or Saturday night? Well, that was never me.

I'd work (or go to class) every day of the week, and go out drinking every night. When I was younger, I used to go hardcore clubbing at least once a week, too. 

via @ciaomiranda12

And I used to drink, and drink, and drink.

Casual, weekly outings usually meant at least a couple of shots of hard liquor; weekend outings meant, of course, more than 10 shots, plus some cocktails; and during the workday, I'd have a few glasses of wine and beer, just because.

TL;DR: I couldn't live my life without being at least a little tipsy or buzzed. Which was fine for a while, until I decided it wasn't. 

via @ciaomiranda12

Honestly, I never considered myself actually addicted to alcohol, but now I look back and I see that I was relying on it for a lot of things.

I've never been super comfortable in highly social situations, and I've always been more than a little anxious - so any time I'd start feeling uncomfortable (which is always), I'd drink.

via @ciaomiranda12

It would calm me down and it was great... but then I realized that it was actually kind of sad. I can't ever learn to work on myself if I'm always just drinking away my issues, right?

Plus, I'm almost 26. Hangovers hurt a lot more now than they ever did when I was 16.

via @ciaomiranda12

So I vowed to kick my alcohol dependency, and be the kind of person I wanted to be naturally. Without needing to get drunk AF first.

After a few failed attempts, I had my last binge drinking episode on St. Patrick's Day of this year. Since then, I haven't actually consumed a drop of alcohol. 

via @ciaomiranda12

It was hard at first, mainly because being the drunken hoe was so ingrianed in my identity that I had no idea who I was without a wine glass in my hand.

Honestly, it's still something I'm figuring out. Right now, I have no drive or motivatrion to drink again, and I want to be a little more secure in myself before I do.

Personally, I feel like I will eventually get to the point where I can control my drinking and happily have an alcohol-fuelled night out with my friends. But I don't think I'm ready for it just yet.

via @ciaomiranda12

I'm actually enjoying getting to know myself without a tequila shield, and I'm actually enjoying not drinking. 

I'm saving a whole lot of money, plus I have time for things that'll actually improve my life.

via @ciaomiranda12

I still kind of feel a bit brain foggy, if I'm being honest - but I can think a whole lot clearer now; and not getting hangovers is kind of the best thing to ever happen to me, no lie.

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