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If Quebec Businesses Had English Names

The tables have turned.
If Quebec Businesses Had English Names

Language laws are always a hot topic in Montreal, and one of the things that gets the most amount of attention are the signage laws.

This however is not a post about that. I'm not going to talk about the laws or the recent changes made to the signage policies.

I'm just going to play a game that we enjoy around the office.

We're going to imagine what Montreal businesses would be named if the tables were turned.

What if every shop in Montreal had to have an English name, what would these francophone businesses be called?

Here are few of the ones we came up with:

Bureau En Gros = Fat In Desk

Initially I was going to make this "Fat Desk". But then I realized there would be nowhere to put the O with the pencil in it.

Complexe Desjardins = Complexe of the Gardens

Now the Complexe Desjardins sounds like some kind of Game of Thrones reference. Meet Daenerys of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals, Protector of the Realm, Complexe of the Gardens, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons.

Photo cred - metro

Metro = Subway

Metro has no choice, it now has to be referred to as subways. But don't worry about trademark infringement because Subway will have to change its name as well...

Subways = Metro

See? Subways and Metro are going to get along just fine.

Cirque Du Soleil = Circus of the Sun

Nope, never mind. Change it back. This is just wrong!

Jean Coutu = John Coutu

I guess Jean could have stayed Jean. As long as you pronounce it like Michael Jackson's "Billie-Jean".

Uniprix = Oneprice

This just made me realize that Uniprix either needs to change their name or they need choose a single price to sell all their products.

Photo cred - bnn

Couche-Tard = Diaper Late

Sure this could have been Sleep-Late, but that just wouldn't have been as much fun to Photoshop. Plus now the Owl winking makes sense. He knows this is terrible word play.

Le Château = The Câstle

Since this word has a "Â" it actually is pronounced "aw", so this store should be called "cawstle".

La Belle Province = Quebec

"The pretty province" sounds cheesy, plus in my mind this is the only restaurant who would deserve to be called "Quebec".

Lafleur = The Flower

With a name like this, they'd better go vegan.

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