Alright, full disclosure: no two people are alike, no matter what their background is. With that said, though, we in Montreal are super lucky to be surrounded by an array of amazing cultures. Seriously. Great things happen when you interact with someone who doesn't share the same background as you; and if you're so inclined, great things happen when you date them, too. Here are just a couple of the great things that tend to happen when you date a Montreal Italian:
1. We'll instantly treat you like family.
Yes. Instantly. If you've made it to bf/gf status, chances are we've already introduced you to our siblings, to our cousins, to our nonna, and maybe even to our parents. If that sounds intimidating, don't worry, it's not. Our family just thinks of you as one of us now. Which means you get access to unlimited homemade delicacies, and someone will always ask us how you're doing - and genuinely care about the answer, even if we stop dating. Ignore the yelling though. You'll get used to it.
2. We've got the best food
Pizza, gnocchi, arancini, tiramisu, cannoli - okay, I'm making myself hungry, I'll stop. Italians have some of the best food out there, and we have at least one family member who knows how to make everything in huge quantities and so delicious Gordon Ramsay himself would tear up with happiness. Know what happens when you date an Italian? You get access to these delicacies, my friend. Enjoy.
3. We know how to throw a good party
You can't deny that us Italians are a festive bunch. Weddings are huge. So are engagements, baptisms, Christmases, Easters - even birthdays usually involve a family get together and two friend outings. You know, just for good measure. Does that mean we'll celebrate your event in typical going-hard fashion? Yes. Does that mean you'll get invited to the hundreds of events we have a year? Also yes. I think we all see the win in this situation.
4. We'll teach you how to speak Italian
Don't worry. We'll definitely teach you the swear words first. Actually, scratch that, you'll definitely pick up the swear words as we drop them randomly in everyday conversations. Which means you're probably going to learn Italian just like we did. By picking it up. Other words that'll rub off on you: bro, rovinat, state bene, and dozens of other English-Italian-French almost words.
5. We’re passionate A.F.
Okay, this is obviously not exclusive to Montreal Italians. But still, a lot of us rock that "work hard, play hard" mentality. This is actually pretty awesome for the people we date, because it means that not only do we put 110% of ourselves in our work and our hobbies, but we also usually do the same thing in our relationships. Also, this is pretty much means that...
6. We're in your corner, no matter what
Okay, real talk, I think a really common theme here is that Montreal Italian like to have a strong sense of community. Which means supporting your family, friends, and yes, even the people you date. If we care about you then we tend to make serious attempts to support you in whatever you like to do. On the other hand, if you fuck up, we'll probably rush to defend you. At least in public. And if you didn't mess up too badly.
7. We’ll help you navigate Italian Week
And other Italian cultural events. Because we've been there so often, we know what's worth spending time on and what's not. Chances are we'll also run into about fifty other people we know. It's okay if you don't know them. Smile and nod, and get ready for us to excitedly gossip about them afterwards. Gossip is a sign of love, btw.
8. Homemade wine and prosciutto, anyone?
The second you express interest in our nonno's/zio's/cugi's homemade wine and charcuterie is the second you agree to constantly having your fridge full of it. Same thing with our zia's cookies, pizelle, or any other baked good you couldn't stop eating when we put it out on the table. It's okay, though. Everyone knows their nonno's wine is the most legit, and you just scored us a free pass to ask for unlimited bottles without the look of judgement. Win win.
9. Our friends are your friends
And there are a lot of them, so buckle up. In all seriousness, it's a common stereotype that we love our squad, and our squad loves us. So be prepared to get introduced to our friends early on. And if you hit bf/gf status, our best friend just might become your best friend. It's a thing that'll most likely happen. It's okay. Just go with it.
10. Espresso upon espresso
I'm not saying that your tolerance for coffee increases tenfold the second you date an Italian, but... okay, fuck it, that's basically what I'm saying. Everyone loves coffee, but Italians kind of pride ourselves on chugging espressos like they're shots and not even flinching. S/O to you if you can keep up. Either way, prepare to now solve all of life's problems with a nice espresso. Or latte. But probably not.