10 Things That Will Happen If You Date A Montreal Bartender
Take note of these if you end up taking a bartender home.
Photo cred - Karel Chladek
Sometimes the hottest person in the bar is the one serving the drinks- the mighty bartender! If you ever date one you’ll find yourself learning some very interesting things about them and their job especially if they work in Montreal.
1. You learn which food places offer cheap awesome late night eats. Bartenders are usually hungry after a shift at their bar and nothing beats a late night snack of poutine or steamies at La Banquise.
2. You find yourself constantly mocking drunks with them. They will always have funny stories from their shifts. They’ll say stuff like “Wow, you should have seen how this drunken dude was trying to pick up this chick at Café Campus…He puked on her before saying anything. Totally gross!”
3. They become a walking ATM, they always have cash on them. This is a bonus because it is no fun to search for one when you’re bar hopping together on St-Laurent when they aren’t working.
4. You schedule tons of day and afternoon dates since they usually work late. After a few afternoon dates, you’ll soon realize that there are tons to do and most places like the movies at Place Montreal Trust are much cheaper.
5. If you go to their bar, they’ll give you and your friends all free booze. And everyone likes free booze, right? Especially if they work at a club like Apt. 200. You'll feel like a VIP for sure and your friends will think you're cooler than sliced bread.
6. You find that your friends often turn to them for advice on booze and your date will happy to do it cause they can show off how much of a booze brainiac they have become from working at La Distillerie.
7. You develop an anti-flirt jealousy mode. At first this one can be somewhat tough. Just try to remember bartenders can be considered “tip whores”…so innocent flirting is part of the job and they’ll take home the hottest person in the bar (aka you) at the end of the night.
8. Your friends may give you crap that they don’t have a “9 to 5” job but you know they work hard. Being a bartender is a challenging job because you have to micromanage drunken people, making drinks, keeping tabs, and being an entertaining bartender with plenty of awesome stories for the patrons especially if they work at a busy pub like the Irish Embassy.
9. You learn by the best what consists of a great drink and how a bartender will judge you for ordering something lame especially if they work at the Whiskey Café or any posh club on St-Laurent.
10. You'll graduate from average tipper to ninja level. After hearing how patrons were cheap tippers at your significant other’s pub; you’ll become more aware that bartenders live on tips and you’ll dole out more when you find yourself tipping one at your favorite watering hole say at Brutopia for example.
What have you learned from dating a Montreal bartender?
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