Every weekend is the same. We keep promising ourselves we won't drink this much anymore. As if it's a promise we could keep.
We party non-stoppingly in Montreal. Everything is an excuse to go out, drink and have fun. Therefore, we have massive hangovers the next day. It's the price we have to pay.
Some hangovers are bad, some are almost unbearable. What do we do about that? "I got a hangover, wo-oh! I got an empty cup! Pour me some more!"
The Basic Hangover
You wake up feeling sick at someone else's place. In fact, you woke up because you were feeling sick. Thank God your parents didn't see you like this. Your vision is still blurry, but you can tell you're on Mile End, at your friend's bedroom. You wouldn't feel this bad if you were in the middle of the Atlantic during a wave storm. Nausea, stomachache and, obviously, vomiting. Everybody knew the toilet would be your best friend after all the drinks you had last night at that house party.
The Moral Hangover
The first thing on your mind when you wake up after a friday night at Unity is, "Oh, God. Why?" You would give anything to go back in time and change what you've done. You can't. The moral hangover is one of the worst feelings in the world. You're just too embarrassed to see your friends or say anything about last night. You're also not going to the Village -- ever again. You can run, but you can't hide forever. When you open your Facebook page and see how many notifications you have, you know pictures have been posted. Yeah, you're doomed.
The Thirst Of The Homeless Hangover
You just can't stop drinking water. You know you're dehydrated because your mouth is dry -- so dry. At one point you need to go to Couche-Tard and get some Vitamin Water or Gatorade. You feel like you need to supply your body with the nutrients it needs. If you had not drank so much, you would have been able to eat as well. Water will do for now. You just need to stop feeling like you've been running in the Desert for the last five hours.
The Brutal Headache Hangover
No aspirin in the world will stop you from suffering a brutal headache after drinking that much. You may not vomit or feel nauseous, but your head keeps hurting and hurting, all day long. It's like a reminder to drink less next time. If you get out of control on a friday night, your whole weekend will be ruined because of your headache. No more Hurley's Irish Pub for you tonight.
The Physical Pain Hangover
Do you know what's the problem with many of the bars and nightclubs in Montreal? Stairs. They have stairs. You lost count of how many times you've fell on the floor because of that (and your drinks, of course). Besides, your friends had to carry you home and you live on the 4th floor of a building in Old Montreal that has no elevator. You wake up with a sore body and it feels really bad. That's when you start remembering how clumsy you were last night and regretting every single moment of it.
The Blackout Hangover
Only one word needed to describe this hangover: Vodka. Before going to Royal Phoenix, you and your friends start making drinks with the new bottle of vodka you bought at SAQ. At first you drink it with soda, then you reduce the amount of non-alcoholic drinks and sooner than you think you're having shots after shots. The last thing you remember when you wake up, feeling like trash, is getting to Saint-Laurent street. That's it. Not a single memory of last night crosses your mind. "Did I do something embarrassing?" is the first question you ask your best friend. Things get even more weird when you see pictures, but don't remember. It's like you were there, but you weren't.
The Unnoticed Hangover
Your friends always tell you how bad they feel the day after you guys drank a lot, but you don't feel the same. You always tell them that you're fine and they keep saying how lucky you are. But you're not fine, not at all. You feel weak, as if you caught a cold or something. You suddenly have poutine cravings but you're too tired to go to Poutineville and have some. That's the unnoticed hangover. You feel like crap but don't feel any of the common symptoms of a hangover, expect for fatigue. That's also a symptom, which means you're actually having a hangover but just don't know it.
The Photophobic Hangover
No lights, please. Forget about the sunny day and about going to La Ronde with your friends. You just wanna stay in bed all day long with the lights off. You use your computer at lowest brightness possible and don't even turn on the tv. That's how bad your hangover is. Your brain seems to explode every time someone gets in your room to offer you something to drink or eat. The lights are too bright and you can't stand it.
The Lack Of Appetite Hangover
Not even the most delicious plate in Montreal would make you wanna eat something. Your stomach won't take in any food. Remember that delicious burger from Burger Bar you love? Forget about it. You and food won't have a happy ending together, not for now. You probably won't eat anything during the day and be completely famished at night. That's a huge problem, isn't it? Your metabolism won't be very happy.
The Anxiety Attack Hangover
You can't sleep well, your hands and feet are ice cold and you're having heart palpitations. That's the anxiety attack hangover. The world is not a happy place for you and all you wanna do is take some pills and go to sleep. The problem is you can't stay calm and still. Your body won't let you. It's like something stronger than you is keeping you awake and anxious all the time. Your friends were talking about some types of hangover last night at Baldwin Barmacie and you didn't add much to the conversation. Now you have a lot to talk about!
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