13 Thoughts Every Montrealer Has After Seeing The First Snowfall
"F*ck this noise"
You woke up this morning, saw the snow, and were instantly flooded with a torrent of emotions. Happy, depressed, pure rage, all are felt in that moment you saw snow this morning. But you weren't alone.
Everyone had a few of the same thoughts this morning, and even if they weren't word-for-word the same, the sentiments were definitely similar. See what I mean with the 13 thoughts every Montrealer has after seeing the first snowfall of the season below.
OMG snow! It's so magical and pretty!
Here are the first three emotional stages of the first winter snowfall. First, you experience joy, because snow is pretty after all.
"Everything die, now."
Following joy, after you realize all the cold that the snow will bring, you get into a fit of rage.
"No. No, no, no, no, no.
And lastly, pure, simple, and not very effective denial.
"F*ck this noise, I am NOT putting on those ugly boots 'til there's a legit foot of snow on the ground."
Fashion should be sacrificed for function until the bitter end.
"It'll melt by noon, it'll melt by noon, PLEASE let it melt by noon."
Sure, then you get slush, which prompts a whole other mess of dark thoughts.
"Time to wear a hat. Goodbye good hair, winter is here."
Perhaps the harshest reality of a Montreal winter: your hair will never look good.
"Winter selfie mode, go!"
No one can resist the urge of snapping a quick snowfall-selfie. You've been waiting since October for this, after all.
"Okay, just walk slowly and you won't fall. Just walk - SHIT!"
Snow = slippery sidewalks which = you falling on your face. Get ready for a whole season of shit bullsh*t.
"Now, who will I strike with the first snowball of the season?
If there's one upside to snow, it's that you can release all of your pent up rage in the form of snowball flung to the face of others. Choose your first target wisely, however, because that'll set the tone for the entire snowball-season.
"God, I need a vacation"
As soon as you see snow, you can't help but remember that it's warm somewhere in the world, and you absolutely need to get there ASAP. Apparentlyeither.
"This is my last winter in the damn city, I swear"
You say that now, but then summer will come and you'll be thinking "why would I ever leave this liberal paradise" only to get a harsh reminder when the first snow falls again. It's a vicious cycle.
"Oh shit, the heating bill..."
Gone are the days when you spent all of 20 bucks on heating for a month, because, yay, winter is finally here. Adjust your budget accordingly people.
"Please Lord, no ice storms this year."
Gt to praying, because no one needs.